Anonymous
Vancouver, Canada
Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
whatdidimarry
Cardiff, United Kingdom
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML
upliftmofo
Belgium
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
jsmills92
Cranston, United States
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Miss_Blaine
Houston, United States
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
confusedcatlover
London, United Kingdom
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Anonymous
Kennesaw, United States
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
OldHabitsDieHard
Erie, United States
Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML
Anonymous
United States
Leftovers
Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML
I……
United States
Toot toot
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Top comments
nnnnada 6
Lick him more often yourself. Problem solved.
darwinism 30
If your husband can lick himself where the cat can, that is a talent! There are not many things that a good licking can' fix.
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Comments (114)
ktizzley2k 8
Is your husband by any chance Marilyn Manson?
ImTheAlpha 30
Dude, no. Just no.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm a huge MM fan, but even I found this funny. Chill the **** out.
bulldoghitman97 4
This would be a much better fml if it said "my wife" and my cat..That way she can please herself when you dont feel like it.
PrincessPesa 20
Then it would no longer be an FML, sir.
NIRVANA1990s 1
where does he lick himself?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The question isn't IF your husband licks himself; it's WHERE. ;)
BubbleGrunge 18
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
jaredofmo 22
You know why cats lick their own balls? 'Cuz they can.
kumar1995 4
it seems like u don't give enough pleasure to ur husband
thrAsHeRr9081 16
If you could lick yourself, you most likely would. Don't pretend you wouldn't. ;-)
ZBonner 3
Hey, I can do that too.
HFE10 2
You must have a rough life