Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have peace of mind that I am not pregnant, thanks to my IUD. It's not because of the effectiveness of the contraceptive, but my inability to touch my boyfriend. I haven't stopped bleeding since my doctor installed it 3 weeks ago. FML
Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I had emergency surgery to remove my fallopian tubes. I'm one of the 0.5% of people who get pregnant after having their tubes tied. FML
Today, I found out I'm three weeks pregnant with a guy I've been dating for a month. I'm on the pill and we even used a condom. This baby must be some kind of superhuman. FML
Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML
Today, I realized that my wife is on her 3rd month using an IUD. The side effect is nonstop bleeding. I haven't had sex with her since she got it. I'd say this contraceptive is working perfectly. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML
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Top comments
thischick1659 1
Hey, at least you're special ;D
zoPwNAgEzo 21
With your luck, you should buy a lotto :D
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Comments (221)
thischick1659 1
Hey, at least you're special ;D
TheElderTROLLZ 15
We still love ya, OP
Streeet_hayley 6
I really hope your child doesn't come across this FML in the future..
muzy 23
when your child becomes older you can tell them this and say "you were the chosen one"
ThisIsMyReign 4
Congratulations, you are our 2000th IUD idiot! You knew the risks regardless of the "preventions". Money well spent.
softballlover98 4
I know I've asked this before but what does op mean? Or stand for
day624 14
It means original poster
GetDirtyDoWork 1
Sounds like a try hard baby! Awe
Forlorn420 9
If you've asked before, why do you need to ask again?
_Oblivion_ 12
80 ..
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
I'm special too, I was the 1 millionth visitor and won an iPad
unknown_user5566 27
At least you know your future child will be a trooper, OP. S/he managed to beat the odds to get born, and gosh darnit, they'll continue to beat the odds after they're born! ;) But seriously, congrats and good luck. Unexpected pregnancies can be troublesome, but I'm sure you'll realize s/he is a blessing in disguise!
doctorhook86 25
(1% chance of pregnancy x 2 years) / 1 baby = OP has sex not quite once per week. Based on these stats, if the OP continues to **** only once per week, she should expect to get pregnant again about every two years. HOWEVER if she continues with her IUD and only ***** once per week, but also gets her partner to use a 99% effective contraception method, the OP can expect to get pregnant only once every 200 years! (Alternatively she can now have sex 10 times per week and still only get pregnant once every 10 years if she uses her IUD and something else.) Point is: Think you're protected? Wear a condom anyway.
Forlorn420 9
^boring comment. I got about 4 words into it and was already bored outta my mind with it
Feklfekl2222 32
It's actually 99% effective over 5 years of regular sex, so your point isn't really valid
2ndSucks 15
You're one in a million, OP. Be proud.
syki 22
Nah, just one in a hundred.
2ndSucks 15
It just doesn't have the same effect. OP said less than 1% anyhow.
skullofdarkness 18
Yeah, and honestly, while it has it's downsides, most people don't regret having kids when they get to be old and grey
Zomg_Okay 27
While that was a valid point, 31, it's still a pain in the ass to get an unplanned pregnancy.
killdozer1 2
I'm dr. Abortion. You called?
Linkisomnivore 8
Love it!
AYsalchicha 3
It's actual 8 in every thousand women. I have an IUD too lol
TaylorLynn462 10
You should have been using a condom, just to be safe.
cntryiscntrywide 0
Who said she didn't
Calyx_fml 22
Condoms aren't any better. They break and slip off all the time. The only fail safe way is to get the surgery. Reversible vasectomies are available. But for women, no such luck.
MustangGirl72 9
50: I don't think men can get pregnant so I'm guessing she's a female.
CareFace 16
50 - your condom slips off all the time...? Get a size smaller.
SexySlayer1248 18
The worst part is that with an iud there is more of a risk to her if she is pregnant with it still in and the pregnancy can not be saved, it just all around bad
AussieChild 22
An IUD is actually 99.98% effective. Wearing a condom would in no way change that.
TheArchAngel 8
It prevents STDs too!
xStaciexLynnx 15
74- Except by making a pregnancy even less likely. Derp.
aimee910 11
The reason I got an IUD is so I didn't have to use condoms. My husband and I don't want children, and we don't want to use condoms. An IUD is the safest option. It's rather redundant to use both and IUD and a condom.
Awsumuzzie 12
154, I thought you can't get an iud unless you've had a child first.
ohSNAPyall 27
158, it's possible for some women but not generally recommended. Some women who have never given birth are physically unable to get the procedure. They do have a similar device (Implanon) that can be inserted into the upper arm.
aimee910 11
158- they had warned me before the procedure that my cervix might not open enough for them to insert it. But it did, although it hurt like a bitch.
SevenMillionTons 4
The IUD is actually available for women who have never had a child, they suggest against it because it will have a higher (slightly) risk of pregnancy in the Fallopian tubes and even if they had given birth, pregnancy is still more possible in the Fallopian tubes. But that's for the copper IUD, I'm not sure about the mirena. Info from a planned parenthood doctor.
Drigr 9
My step sister, who has never had children, also got an IUD (I think mirena?). The main problem is, as stated already, that the cervix might not be able to dialate enough for them to insert it. My sister said it was extremely painful, but since she stuck through the pain, they were able to do it. And isn't the main reason for something like an IUD to make women more able to have sex without the male using a condom? (I wouldn't really know since my love partner is on the pill, and I continue to use a condom anyways)
liz805 4
Pregnancy with both IUD is a possibility buy it's more common for women with the paragard to get pregnant rather than the mirena because the mirena has a low dose of hormones to prevent pregnancy where as the paragard has no hormones it's made out of copper(they are the two different IUD's)
zoPwNAgEzo 21
With your luck, you should buy a lotto :D
Drigr 9
Forget lotto! Go mega millions!
alissa222 15
Idk man, sounds pretty unlucky to me.
maggiefox 25
Babies are expensive.
BrittRoxx101 7
Bad luck
daner10 5
How old is she?
emmagillespie24 11
48- I get it! 5 asked how old the 4 year old in the other fml was... Hahahaha I cracked up when I read this comment!
daner10 5
131- at least some one gets it!
jwa2000 3
OP got it, that was the cause of the FML
superswagbro 7
You don't say?
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Wow, good luck with your new bundle of joy.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm reading your comment as sarcasm. If that's correct, why bother saying "good luck"? You just make yourself sound condescending.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm reading your comment as if it is sarcastic. If I'm reading it in the correct way, why did you even bother saying "good luck"? It just makes you sound condescending.
unknown_user5566 27
Sorry about the double post. The android app has been screwing me up all day. >.<
ohSNAPyall 27
I read it as hopeful naïveté.
jwa2000 3
If you are getting screwed all day you use get an IUD too.
MrRayBans 8
Sorry to hear that. Whatever you do with your child though, do out of love. It's not his/her fault.
downtime 13
Yep, have an abortion of love. Does that mean they perform it over a candlelit dinner? Or does she have to lay on a bed with love heart pillows and Barry White music playing in the background?
unknown_user5566 27
127- I don't think 7 was suggesting an abortion. She said "child", and from my experience, those who are pro-abortion do not consider abortions as affecting a "child", but instead a "fetus". I read comment 7 as a reference to adoption.
ThisBiatchFMLs 5
abortions are disgusting. Have you ever seen an aborted foetus?
downtime 13
145, I was just being facetious. No need to take my comment so seriously :)
rcgirl2 11
Well congrats on your new baby! And I'm sorry you had to be that 1%.
zachherbert 10
Less than 1%
msrock 0
Not just less than 1%, less than 0.5%! I agree, your life sucks...
AussieChild 22
It's actually closer to 0.02%
person961 9
Her boyfriend must have supersperm with those odds
carbivore 10
That's if it's inserted correctly...maybe she's unlucky enough for it to have come dislodged.
SadIife 6
Well consider it as a miracle instead of a burden.
Shrike 24
Yeah, totally. She just got an IUD for the hell of it, after all, not because she didn't want children. I admire your logical thought processes. Maybe if I'm horribly maimed in a car crash, I'll consider it a miracle cause the odds SEEMED to be in my favor at first.
SadIife 6
For one, relax. Just because I considered this to be special doesn't mean that I'm telling her to keep the baby. Such things don't usually happen which is why I said it was a miracle. Also their is a big difference in getting pregnant and getting an abortion and getting into a car accident....
bmkc4 1
I agree with 12