Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it’s my honeymoon. Before sexy time, my new husband made me do my first “act of loyalty” to him: text all my male contacts who were not family to “never speak to me again” and delete then from social media and cellphone. Apparently, I “can’t be hoeing” around during marriage. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML
Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath” and realized it was in a group chat with his parents, not directly to him like I'd intended. FML
Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML
Today, I walked in on my husband making out with another woman in our couch. When I gave him the mother of all verbal lashings, he asked me, “Oh, you didn’t get my text?” The fucker actually announced he wanted a divorce over text message. He was serious. FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband about a girl. Ever since he met this person, he’s been neglecting our marriage. He says they’re just friends. I forcefully grabbed his phone, blocked all her socials, and deleted her number. He got so mad that he said he wanted a divorce and stormed out of our house. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Insecure one he is. Tell him to delete his female contacts except family members to see how he likes it. He's probably guilty of doing something with another female on the side.
1known 34
Talking is a first step. Counseling a second step. And @cuz803 has a great idea! And if he doesn’t understand why or doesn’t want to follow those steps, divorce might be a good option.
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Comments (8)
cuz803 46
Insecure one he is. Tell him to delete his female contacts except family members to see how he likes it. He's probably guilty of doing something with another female on the side.
1known 34
Talking is a first step. Counseling a second step. And @cuz803 has a great idea! And if he doesn’t understand why or doesn’t want to follow those steps, divorce might be a good option.
Vesi 30
"Every accusation is a confession." I highly recommend a therapist and getting to the bottom of why he'll believe you will cheat. Sounds like he's already on that path. I'm sorry. Good luck!
Brightside86 31
Sounds like he was probably cheated on before and this was how it started. It's interesting the he's married to someone who thinks is only a text away from cheating. The real kicker is you can't really stop people from cheating and attempting to do so only makes it more likely.
MamaChey 24
Years ago, My ex-boyfriend demanded that I give up all our males friends, who I’d actually introduced him to in the first place, Turns out that he was acting this way out of a guilty conscience & He was the one who was cheating. After I broke it off, I paid him back by banging all of our males friends
FluffythePink 23
"Let's see you delete all female contacts, except for family first" Absolutely guarantee that he has a massive tantrum about that... Also, cheaters tend to project a lot, tell him that he's entirely free to go through your phone as long as you can go through his at the same time. Bet you a beer he throws an even bigger tantrum about you looking at his phone and storms out.
TomeDr 25
Projecting! When your spouse suddenly accuses you of infidelity, it’s often to cover up their OWN infidelity.