ghoul
Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
notmyrealname123
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Kitchener, Canada
It's alive!
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
jonnybones223
Best boy
Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML
Sid
United States
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
eyesightfail
United States
Cute
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Noname
Ireland
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
Facepalmum
Melbourne, Australia
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
tiredmom
Phoenix, United States
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
orilykid
Richmond, United States
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Anonymous
Lahore, Pakistan
Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML
Top comments
savy7093 9
What's his name?
Ranimal 12
Future serial killer!
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Comments (81)
dansco 25
Now if he killed it, then its a trophy and you have a serial killer in waiting! Run! Or you have a really sweet but lonely son. Either way its probably your fault!
PrincessesCrown 17
buy him a dog
EatnBeef 7
god I know. I'm a lucky one. I caught it but I asked chuck Norris to get rid of them. he Sid but he also stole my regular AIDS. I wanted to keep those...
randomgf 0
#68 You are not funny. Stfu
EffinTrollFace 0
i agree with
x3herox3 0
Better than what I found under my sons bed. I found a pack of condoms. What's his excuse for it? "My friend said they were cool." he's only 9.
Kebby8D 2
I think I'd rather have a kid who has a pack of condoms under his bed (which I doubt he uses since he said his friends say it's cool) than to have a kid who keeps dead, decaying squirrels as "pets". Having a dead animal as a pet makes me think that the child has psychological issues...a kid having condoms under his bed at the most may mean that the child is going to have sex earlier on in his life than a parent would prefer.
jms240 2
Would you rather it be alive and under his bed, waiting to strike.
jms240 2
All of you are half empty kind of people. If death is no problem for him he should be a Marine core sniper. they make friends with death all the time.
hiccheerleader 0
I'd say no real pet for him
EmoGiana 0
Yeah. My dog was just diagnosed with squirrel aids. He gets "exited" around other animals.