Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML