Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
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Top comments
Mandy_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
nightswimmer 0
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
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Comments (256)
fangsupKELS 0
Queefed?
CassT 0
Urbandictionary.com, man. Works wonders. I feel honoured to be playing a small but simple part in disrupting the innocence of your mind.
imbored932 4
you're better off for not knowing
abdur 0
I for one completely agree with you! FYL indeed :P
sixroses 0
haha def. had to look that one up too. Kinda wish I hadn't...
basketballbabee 0
haha urbandictionary.com is beast. but yeah i know what it is, rather wish i didnt. thank god its never happened to me though! :)
kaz11126 0
dont worry, i had no idea what it was either.....
fmlcrycrycryfml 0
queef=when air comes out of a woman's ****** sounding like a fart
wafflemen 2
a ****** fart
bebekinza 5
yakno when the vag lets out hair and it "farts"?
camobabe20 2
#12 it means a ****** fart basically, very gross. Should only have the possibility of queefing after certain sex positions. Aka her ****** is very loose! FYL
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#242 You're an idiot, stop spewing nonsense.
Daaniellee1234 8
Thats soo embarassing!!! Aahah
softbonez 0
That. Is. Hilarious. Sorry.
crazyjack 0
Do not 'greet' people, just say hello! Or you could just bend yout body into a 'HI!' form -.-
mexicansweetie48 0
hahaha. wow sucks for you. next time trying saying "hi". fyl.
Bart_Oranje 0
.. what does Queef mean :-S
JTGolant 0
it's nice to see someone that isn't a complete ******* imbecile on here, thank you #117
Mancake 0
i was thinking exact the same thing
Chocolate_Chunk 2
@117 ****?
wafflemen 2
a fuking ****** fart
thelonelylurker 0
I would be impressed! Hahaha, good job.
suckitsucker 0
Way to go, Queen LaQueef-a.
phiaphia 0
hahahahhaha
eastgirl16 0
Holy shizz balls, that made me laugh so hard hahaha
ShenziSixaxis 0
Ha ha, nice one! XD
brian9510 0
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
pleasetryagain 0
Anyone who won't date you because your ****** works like a ****** is a douche, and you should get over it too. People who get upset over bodily functions are way too uptight.
gsfgf 0
We live in a world of equality. If men aren't allowed to fart in front of a woman until after consummation, shouldn't the same extend to the wimmens?
tiffany_lynne 0
Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way... you can't hold in a queef, and you have no feeling of when it's going to happen (unlike a fart). I'm sorry that happened to you. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened to involve a queef too...
imkendra 0
That's right. queefs cannot be held in or detected in advance. I know of some women who can force them out on purpose using their vaginal muscles to trap in air and release it, but that's about it. The ****** has no nerve endings the further up you go, which is why a tampon can't be felt once it's inserted. And as such, if there's an air bubble there, you have no way of knowing it. So it's different from passing a regular fart, as you typically have mucho warning for those, and control (most of the time). The queef is just one more thing your ****** likes to do to make your love life awkward.
lovely997 0
lol this brings me back to the south park episode about queefs, haha =]good point though
lovely997 0
don't queefs and farts kinda sound the same though, i mean for the most part right
suckitsucker 0
oh yeah, and for those who don't know, a queef is a vag fart