Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML
Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML
Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML
Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML
Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML
Today, I found the perfect job, which would help me escape my super toxic in-laws and marriage. I have all the educational and other qualifications for it, and it is a permanent well paying job with the government. Too bad the recruitment process takes years to complete, by which time I might've offed myself. FML
Today, after months of searching for any kind of work, I finally received a call. It was McDonald's, but they said I was overqualified for the position. I thought they took anyone with a heart rate. Apparently not. FML
Today, my fiancé was offered a job by my boss working as a dishwasher. This is awesome, especially since he just got fired from his last job. When I brought it up, his reply was, "I don't want to work as a dishwasher." I guess beggars can be choosers. FML
Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML
Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML
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Top comments
Kickmehard 0
Better start saving up for those fancy yellow gloves....
blalien 0
Don't feel bad, those tests are crap. My sister took that test, and she got, "professional bowler." She has never touched a bowling ball in her life.
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Comments (82)
MaddogTotten 0
Guess you found your calling, cant argue results. Also, FIRST, eat that bitches.
wazdog 4
I'm pleasantly surprised to see there are less "who cares if you're first" posts cause clearly the FML community DOES care, even if it's just for kicks. Or I'm completely wrong and people don't reply cause they really don't care.
redbluegreen 41
It's still annoying, but meh. The assholes are probably asleep or at school these days. Don't get your hopes up though, a new wave of members joining will fix that.
pinkdancer 0
People who are first sit on FML.com like low lfe no lifes, waiting for them to put up the new FMLs. I'm convinced that that's exactly how it goes down. Also: this FML is FAKE!!!
KosmoK 0
Well maybe next time you should take a legitamite work placement test at an office or an official site and not "Click here for a free test!!!!! Lawl it's free!"
stupidfaceman 0
Ciao lo zio Salvatore questo è Loretta. Dicali alla mia mamma tutta la mancanza lei. La mia figlia Sara è ancora nell'ospedale. Ha dovuto avere chirurgia perché la parte dei suoi intestini era strettamente chiusa. Inoltre ha fatta la sua rimuovere appendice. Sta ritenendo più meglio ma ancora non può mangiare l'alimento. Dica prego la mia mamma che Sara sta andando multare. Eventualmente andrà a casa entro i prossimi giorni. Dica la mamma che non era una ciste ovarica come hanno pensato. Sara lo vuole dirle che la manchi. Don' preoccupazione di t stiamo prendendole la buona cura. Tutti vogliamo la mamma per per avere una buona vacanza e non preoccuparsi, amore e baci a tutto Loretta
Kickmehard 0
Better start saving up for those fancy yellow gloves....
f_alltheirlives 3
She should own a pair already! The test decided once you crossed the "Gender" box... (KIDDING, im not a woman hater, I just find the jokes endlessly funny €:))
heynicebeard11 0
haha me too. so are dead baby jokes
PhiThetaKappa 0
I think it is a disgrace that taxpayer money paid for that very expensive test only to confirm what I'm sure many already know. Your an F-ing MORON. But it's still pretty damn crappy.
katstern123 4
Try not to be such a jerk
jchansfan 0
Sometimes I think Food+Retail is all I'll ever amount to too... Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find something better! =)
XaosZaleski 0
I'm pretty sure that means that you don't speak proper English, no?
Sun_Kissed18 25
Way to stereotype...
HookEmTexas07 0
Why hello there Ms Buzz Killington.
blalien 0
Don't feel bad, those tests are crap. My sister took that test, and she got, "professional bowler." She has never touched a bowling ball in her life.
frootloopkicker 0
Agreed. I got "refrigerator repairman" in high school, and a friend of mine got "subway car operator." Those tests don't mean anything.
bluelabeled 0
Haha, I got "mime".
Laurasian 0
Mine said rodeo clown. I cried.
_anonymoose_ 0
My friend took one of these aptitude tests, and not only did she get 'dishwasher', she also got 'vending machine operator' and 'chimney sweep.'
frootloopkicker 0
I think the people who pick the jobs for those tests must have a really great sense of humor and are laughing at all of us from their offices...
claireful 4
I'm a prissy, girly. aspiring attorney. I got 'Fireman' on my test in highschool,
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I am an animal lover... I got "taxedermist" :| Lol
XaosZaleski 0
Sadly, Mercy, it either gets you killed or imprisoned. At least if you get imprisoned, the country will house and feed you.
perdix 31
With all you have done in life, they say you should be a kitchen appliance? You are lucky that this test didn't include a pelvic exam, otherwise you may be destined to be a "Refrigerator."
MaddogTotten 0
could have been garbage disposal or toilet. dishwasher seems almost noble in comparison.
perdix 31
Or a kind of dumpster ;)
f_alltheirlives 3
Hey! My father was a kind of dumpster!
MaddogTotten 0
viva la revolution!!!
_fake_ 0
YDI for using the phrase "No lie". And probably not having any real ambitions.
RachaelQ 0
No lie, that was my first thought, too. Bad joke.. I love your picture though!