Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
jfj126 13
Just be glad you didn't shart.
lightningclicks 24
farts are the poop screaming to get out
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Comments (49)
ELoni_fml 25
A for effort!
Goblin182 27
Sounds like one you should be proud of. Own it, name it.
lysx84 24
I came here to say just this. Never be ashamed of a fart. #fartpride
Cheezpop 11
Hahahaha OMG Op, you made my day
atmoore66 4
Who cares it's not that big of a deal, no one knew it was you.
bella_nana347 23
Where will you be when the diarrhea hits?
vikky538 29
Its for the love of concert!!
jagsingh85 14
Why not ease it out, and how could it be heard at a concert with all that noise and music?
pandemonium307 10
At least it wasn't a shart.
Paridote 6
that sucks
Schmavid64 13
If you find that flatulence is a real problem for you then you can get charcoal tablets from a pharmacy. It helps to absorb a lot of the gases in your gut and your poo comes out black but it's a pretty cheap and easy solution to try.