Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
jfj126 13
Just be glad you didn't shart.
lightningclicks 24
farts are the poop screaming to get out
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Comments (49)
sidpool912 14
name the foods
warrenhoward42 20
life sucks, brother
mswim 27
Could have been a stress fart.
allforfun 23
I've done this before, and I did it once while on stage playing and people were yelling and backing away from my side of the stage lol. We were all laughing in between songs. It's only natural and if you didn't get caught you're good.
silverbane27 13
Should have went out of your way, be polite and hold it in
freddygasman 18
It's better to let it out and feel the shame, than to hold it in and feel the pain.
ellerios82 8
I would have laughed at the comments like it wasn't me. Farts happen, and it's not healthy to hold them in.
ChiefKoala 30
Oh come on, what's wrong with a little crop dusting? haha. Personally, and this will sound gross to some people I'm sure, i would rather crop dust or let em go as silently as possible in a corner or the bathroom if possible. I have IBS and I get struck with the poop sweats at the worst possible times, and I know that a fart is soon to come. I try to hold it in as much as possible, but sometimes it just happens. Moral of the story: It happens, crop dusting can be funny (if you're into that kind of humor), and if no one finds out it was you you aren't guilty. As long as they didn't find out it was you, I wouldn't make too much of a deal out of it.
Sansational_ 18
Today, I was standing at this concert that I paid a fuckton for. As soon as it got good, the asshole in front of me fired the stank of a million Bush's Baked Beans in my face. I had to be helivac'd. FML.
The_ghetto_mango 25
Uh, this isn't the place where you submit your FML......
GAeroNKissR 26
I read that as you meant for it to happen...& a bit confused, clicked YDI. Then I realized my mistake :-)