Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
I don't suggest masturbating today.
Thisismoses 0
who uses a towel to clean up glass?
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Comments (85)
Thisismoses 0
who uses a towel to clean up glass?
ImaginaryFoe 1
It's actually the best way to get every little sliver of glass up. I sweep up the pieces then run a damp cloth over the area to get every bit of glass dust. Then I throw the cloth out. OP skipped a very important step.
persianjr1 7
in soviet russia, towel wipe you!!!
BAMF18 0
also. in soviet Russia. **** you.
snoot 0
thank you BAMF
DaleksAreEpic 0
Wait... wouldn't it actually be you that wipes the towel?
CantusVulpis 12
Epic Doctor Who fan is right
testthecoal 5
At least he didn't use it as a bath towel >.<
perdix 31
Of course I can't see them -- I don't live in Germany. I guess I will believe you since there is no consequence to me if you are lying.
SirEBC 7
Damn it! Eff you perdix. I guess we'll just have to take OP's word for it.
uncbballwins 0
Are you implying that the Holocaust never happened?
uncbballwins 0
sounds like a holocaust joke
birdmansangel 0
um..dust pan? maybe...idiot. who cleans glass with a towel? hope you aren't dumb enough to put it in the washer.
kmarrs 2
I kinda want him to be dumb enough to put it in the washer. I think that FML post would be great fun. Ok, not really.
Igor_g5 0
Don't procreate dumbass.
OCDC 9
Don't procreate a dumbass? All right, I'll procreate a genius.
HesJustTheBest 0
Use this new found ability to bitch slap people. Double the pain, double the pleasure.
Norther 1
why not vacum it?!
Devin91 20
your dumb.
Sinkhole 26
Don't be jealous, you're dumb too.
Devin91 20
ok and your so cool.
Sinkhole 26
Thank you for further proving my point, Devin91.
AbusedTampon 6
Poor jock. All muscle no brain.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
You can all stop now, Grammar Nazis.
Devin91 20
honestly I could care less of what you people I will never meet think of me.
docscientist 10
* I couldn't care less. Unless you actually do care and have the capacity to care less than currently.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
^^ You're unbelievably dumb. Shut up already.