Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
I don't suggest masturbating today.
Thisismoses 0
who uses a towel to clean up glass?
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Comments (85)
nothingtodisplay 7
I have no pity for you. you're dumb ass is the one who used a towel to clean I'm glass in the first place. so YDI
samtheman1028 1
why in the holy mother of hell would you clean broken glass with a towel!!!!!
woopa18 0
why use a towel to wipe up glass ?
vettle 6
well that's pretty stupid, but I tend to be the same way!
MyLifeIsGreat_ha 0
really? How the **** do you not remember that that was the same towel you used to wipe up glass...the same day? YDI you fail at life
fadingaway 17
Why would you wipe up glass with a towel instead of just sweeping it?
debatingalways 0
correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't typing this Fml require the use of your hands? thus wouldn't typing this actually add to the pain rather than allowing your hands to heal and recover??
bigbadtim 7
What a Paine in the glass.
sparty12 2
sorry, all i heard was "i'm an idiot. FML"
caaklove 0
how do you NOT deserve it?