Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amerwin 3
I don't suggest masturbating today.
Thisismoses 0
who uses a towel to clean up glass?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
3alawyel7elwa 4
Ouch, I guess you have to be more careful next time :L
iSitt 0
ydi for not throwing that towel away. youll never get all the glass shards out of it.
breena25 0
stupid...
MarkFeehily 0
I agree! it could have been worse... you could have used the towel to ********** :P
seanders 10
Who the **** uses a towel to clean glass?
babyyappld 7
op why wouldn't you use a broom and dustpan? much more effective.
amerwin 3
I don't suggest masturbating today.
clarissa_Gyall 0
lmfao
FallonFerSure 6
I agree.
babez11 0
only ********** if u want the next person u hav sex with to hav glass up their pussy (that is if op is a guy)
Mercedeh910 0
I think u have lint in ur eye.
AKlovee787 0
hahahaha agreed
oliver86 8
you should get that checked out
valri3 0
Yes we all feel compassion and love for you.
Immersion 0
I do believe u op don't worry
picklezz123 5
ouchhhh that sounds terrible
lol_master_007 0
You could, like, totaly be Leatherface's partner in crime now!!! Leatherface & Glasshands!!!!!! DAH DAH DUHHHHH! :)
StormGirl142 24
This made me giggle :)
you_failed 15
Ooooh. Sorry OP to hear that! D:
Thabb 0
Why did you do that?
dirtyblond 4
cause hes a retard
shibainu519 0
that poor towel has to be in so much pain! :(
agranger51 0
haha!!