Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I was walking past a restaurant to my car. Some man who was sitting on the patio went completely out of his way to walk through the restaurant, out the door, and follow me halfway down the street, just to tell me that my hair was ugly, my makeup was too thick, and my dress was “slutty.” FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
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Top comments
sis_fml 0
Perhaps you should realize that maybe money and expensive clothes does not equal class, regardless of sexiness?
puhffft 0
Totally agree with #11—You can't put two super sexy things together and make it look good. It just doesn't work. If you're going to be in public, tone it down.
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Comments (93)
puhffft 0
Totally agree with #11—You can't put two super sexy things together and make it look good. It just doesn't work. If you're going to be in public, tone it down.
iplaylax 0
time machine?
b182link 0
probably meant #1
lolfood 24
#8 agrees with you
Jiplo 18
#8 agrees with you, did you know that?
MoonRocks 5
I'm confused. Either #43 is correct or #45. And where's #1-7?
FlickMyBean 0
Hilarious.
bridgetheartsyou 0
if it makes you feel good who the **** cares? i mean who are you to judge someone? go for dressing sexy. it was still funny that the manager said that though. . .
evilplatypus 39
See! That's what I tried telling the cops when I wore that dead lady's skin! It made me feel good.
Kazze 31
"It puts the lotion on the skin..."
crazybe3bshot31 0
damn that was mean. but i guess next time u know to dress like a lady.. than a ho.
nafiul93 0
hahhaahahaha lmao thot u were a hooker
emILYforever 0
derrr
shortwiz247 0
a slutty rich bitch who smokes... can you go lower?
lil_ham1644 29
Where does it say she's slutty or rich?
sis_fml 0
Perhaps you should realize that maybe money and expensive clothes does not equal class, regardless of sexiness?
scoutzoey 3
second that
nonstopsand 0
you kill me! guys dont give a rats behind about your brands. brands wont make the outfit less skanky. big ups #15!
whjmsical 0
guys don't know how much your skanky clothes cost, they just know that they're skanky. you buy them because YOU know they cost a lot and THEY know you look like you're willing to give them a ******* behind a restaurant. the funny thing is, if anybody came up and commented on your gucci and prada and THEN asked you for a *******, you'd probably give it to them.
ajj_fml 0
wow. why is everyone being so mean? OP didn't even describe what she was wearing so there is no reason to assume it was too revealing. the restaurant owner could have just been a total prick.
uprising_fml 0
I agree. why do people ignorantly assume when there isn't enough context in the post to label OP as a '*****' ? even if this guy truly thought she was a prostitute, that would only be one person who very brazenly and rudely insulted her. she could have been a very beautiful woman and while smoking, he offhandedly associated her with a prostitute. oh and FYI to everyone, wearing expensive clothes and showing a little cleavage/showing a little leg does NOT make a woman a *****. try looking up the definition before sounding like an asshole.
charvisioku 22
Oh look, I found the sane thread. Thank god for that. People on FML never cease to amaze me with their bigotry and self-righteousness.