Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML
Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NuTrees 9
That's when you use your skills to get back into the house. You know up the tree, onto the ledge... You know!
Damn_Hippster 11
That's some Indian Jones shit right there. I wouldn't even care about the keys as long as at least one person saw that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
Mr25_fml 14
Remembering you left your keys in the house after an awesome dive. *Derp face* CLOSE ENOUGH
aimferd 4
Skill (sarcastic and non sarcastic)
BenDover1023 3
Such a badass
Phluid 5
I would have done a naked lap around my neighborhood in celebration of such Ninja Tactics.
ters19 10
Happens all the time...
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
It's The forgetful SUUPER NINJAA----- da dada daaaa ! *hums* 'here i come to save the day~'
Track1991 0
Your neighbor might assume that you are an agent.
hateevryone 15
haha
FlyingWhisps 5
*Cue mission impossible theme*
Okayitwasme 0
That's why we have a keyless entry. My kids kept losing their keys. It's worth the money. Ours also doesn't use batteries, so you don't have to worry about getting locked out.