I'm so tired

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

This is going to be my fault, isn't it?

Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

Karma?

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

Today, I tried to back my car into my parking space while some of my neighbors were out by their cars. I accidentally rammed into the retaining wall behind my spot. I was hoping the neighbors didn't notice the huge crunching sound, but they did. FML

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML

Ohhh, wham bam thank you ma'am

Today, I accidentally left the handbrake off in my car, got out, locked it, and started walking away. Then I heard a loud noise and looked over my shoulder and the car was gone. Of course, it hit the only other car parked in the street. FML