Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
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Top comments
dreamering 16
Take the positive side: You could have been hit by a cow.
PSQ91 6
FYL. Pigeons suck, they're so useless.
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Comments (105)
the__usual 0
poor pigeon :(
miraggg 1
agreed
RideOrDie1248 0
at least you got a settlement coming
hatepineapple 14
Pidgeon. WHUUUUUUUR VHROOOOOOOOMMMMM Pidgeon. OH MY GOD GET OUT OF THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Pidgeon. CRASHHHHHHHH OH NO! My nose is bleeding! Somebody stop the bleeding! My sponges are full of wine and my cheese full of Italians! I must breach the hole before the vessels of life blast though! My Egyptian Leather can't be touched or it will be ruined. Twenty thousand dollars earned off illegal child chocolate labor RUINED! Why must the pidgeon mock me???? Its blood is smothering my French snails! NO! NOT THE SNAILS! PLEASE GOD PROTECT THE SNAILS! NO SALLY! SPEAK TO ME SALLY. PLEASE! NOOOOOO! YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE THIS WAY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BY NUCLEAR FONDUE!!!!! I'M SO SORRY! Pidgeon.
sheethapins 13
Omg!! The majority of this comment makes no sense! What is with all the spastic capitalized nonsense! Medication. Were you dropped on your head?? Is this some sort of finger tourettes syndrome? Do you have some sort of mind crippling finger controlling tick? Medication.
deekiin 0
ha! randomness. winning!
lovelylittleme 0
wtheck!?
jbo116 0
ummm what the..
thetrollyoulike 6
^ some people have too much time on their hands.
megan061282 0
someone needs to get out more!! weirdo!
Felix_Felicis15 8
15, you should be on MLIA with that amount of epic randomness.
The_Weirdo 10
78 That hurts. :(. I can now make my own FML now.
dbss11 3
I think 15 got hit in the head by a rock not a pigeon xD
cavs1123 3
literally
cavs1123 3
literally
77777771 12
Whhaatttt thhheeee fffuuuuucccckkkkk
Livinia 11
Those ******* sinuses.
CrackerJack127 3
I don't understand this fml... :P
sheethapins 13
Op got smacked in the face by a nasty bird.
turdbucket86 0
Op got hit by a pigeon that ricocheted of of a vans windshield. Fyl op!
Kawboy 1
FYL
sweet_candy_ 17
Look up in the sky. It's faster than a speeding bullet. It's Super no wait it's just a pigeon.
Ugi 27
This just goes to show that in a large enough sample of people something massively improbable will be happening to someone every day. Sucks for you that today it's you! FYL.
robbiboyo 0
Like I always say, it's good to try everything once.
SpectSelf 0
there are better odds of getting struck by lightning