Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my mom proudly told me that she found the perfect thing to combat my B.O. Extra strength degreaser. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML
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Top comments
ShadowOfHope 9
Seeing that you're a fellow Californian, I could only look at the bright side that you don't need as much water for your showers now, haha. As of the accident, at least it was just the pits. Hope your hair grows back lusciously.
Schizomaniac 24
It was early in the morning and he was groggy. Go home turtle, you're drunk.
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Comments (51)
trucker2 33
I call Bullshit
gabagabaheyu 10
why was the glue stick in the bathroom?
ijustgiveup 12
Learn grammar you idiot. It's every one. Not everyone. Your armpit hairs aren't people, are they?
TheDevilsDevices 15
How BIG was that glue stick?
Zgamerz 11
I'm gonna be that guy: *every one
kellidear 8
You're gonna be like the fifteenth "guy"
quarterbird 18
WTF? Do you share roll-on deodorant? Even if it was actually deodorant, it obviously wasn't yours.
Rosa014 5
This memory will stick around for a long time.
CyanideCyan 12
I ser that pun op!
radioactiveXcow 14
Why didn't you just take a quick shower or rinse...? And why was your deodorant and glue stick next to one another or in the usual place of your deodorant? Did your mom just prank you? Do you cut your underarm hair because you are a proud 13 year old that's too scared to remove you first achievement of hitting puberty? Or are you someone that was just tired/hungover/[something witty] that simply over thought your whole dilemma? SO MANY QUESTIONS! OP explain yourself! D:
shitstorm28 11
a little manscaping never killed anybody. lmao fyl op