Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
SuperDumbNerd 9
Steroids will really mess u up.
Euronymous93 29
OP deserves it if he's taking steroids.
hordriss 14
This is why you need to quit taking steroids.
bobak_can_ani 7
Just workout? Are you sure you haven't been using hormone shots before?
jimmyvelazco 7
maybe you Should stay from steroids.
KuKluxCatz 8
Are you taking any sort of steroids at all?/If so, there's your answer....Sorry
ghostriley 14
You should get that checked out
e_li613 11
you might be working out too hard and blowing your cns. tone the workouts down a bit?
gatorgirl7563 22
The problem is that by exercising, you are stimulating your muscles, which increases their blood flow, and you have so many/such big muscles that your body can't spare for any/enough blood to be sent to your penis.
CASH_NoMOMEY 9
At least you won't pop a stiffy in a competition
jmagd781 16
steroids will do that to you.