Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML
Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML
Roommates from hell, part 4874
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
What's up with your nose?
Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Itchy and Scratchy
Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML
Treat yourself
Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML
Extreme reaction
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Stressed out
Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML
Top comments
slick5880 22
Pizza is in this season.
Pinguini26 6
Sucks to be you! Anyway, it's your cousin's day. Not everyone's gonna be looking at you so you'll be fine!
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Comments (100)
Pinguini26 6
Sucks to be you! Anyway, it's your cousin's day. Not everyone's gonna be looking at you so you'll be fine!
slitherbomb 0
I will eat your chest!
eminemchick 19
pizza and boobs seem to be a mans best friend this year! youre in luck! all you need is a video game console across ur chest:)
DizzyDemon0 9
That sucks. I guess it also depends when the wedding is though..
eshhayz 0
I don't get it ? You ordered pizza and it dropped on your chest ? How is that fml, just clean it up (unless it stained cArpet, in which it is fml then hehe )
PutItIn 8
Put some Birth Control in that MF's Lucky Charms.
sambam_454 0
32- OP has acne on her chest
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
dont worry about it, unless its an olive pizza....
FUGYU 2
I hope your milk tastes better, too!
number0 8
Let me see if your chest tastes like pizza.
flossybaben 0
UDI for not throwing the body wash out after you know what it does to your skin.
swimmer3141 10
Can't you read, #67? She thought she was using her normal body wash which DOESN'T give her a reaction, but her brother pulled a prank on her by putting a different kind of body wash in the bottle.
washingtongirl 8
So... You didn't recognize the scent of this dreaded scented body wash you hate so much? YDI
Drigr 9
In all honesty I think the bro was looking out for op. Making it so he won't be so revealing during this occasion. And what the hell anyways? she was PLANNING on wearing a low-cut dress to a wedding? Like seriously? First of all. You're asking for stares when you dress like that. And you are probably one of those girls that is pissed off when a guy has sex on the mind.
Friaza 29
Throw out your brother and buy a new one.
Bludmagnus 13
You have issues. The brother needs a thorough cockpunting while she is wearing steel-toed boots. Anyone who found this funny are the kind of people that shows why Carlos Mencia had a show.
slick5880 22
Pizza is in this season.
SirObvious 1
Pizza is delicious...
bridawg 0
are your nipples the pepperonni?
bball234 6
do you know how to spell pepperoni?
bridawg 0
**** you if all your going to do is judge people vocabulary. sorry that i dont use the word pepperoni often enough to memorize its every letter. sorry i dont hold a dictionary next to my bed and read it every time i go unto my nighful slumber. what do you do, go on the internet and mock people thinking you are more intelligent than the person your speaking with? you must have some small balls if thats what you do on here. i for one go on the internet and write what i think are funny comments hoping to get some humor from my fellow FMLites but you sir must enjoy ruining those moments. nice first impression prick
bball234 6
haha im sorry i offended you. but this is fml, and that's like the only thing people on here know how to do. plus, do you see i have 4 thumbs up? this is good.
savagearmz 6
PIZZA+ BOOBS=WIN
partyfool2011 4
But in this case, boobs are pizza. So pizzaboobs=eww.
flockz 20
mmmmmm cheesy pepperoni mushrooms.... oh god.
Cappiej 18
Sounds good, huh?
R34luver 5
I find it funny hehe
jellitonoctopus 19
Your cousin is in on it, she didn't want you stealing all the attention. ;D
cptcook 0
Guess which one of the bridesmaids ain't hookin up in the closet at this wedding
DeLpHe3zY 7
oh well maybe some people will find it attractive
babytunechi 0
wear a turtle neck dress
shay1813 0
She doesn't want to look like a grandma :D
xk75 4
Wear a boat neck or other type of high neck dress that's short, tight, and possibly has a plunging back (if the body wash didn't cause a breakout there). Make your ass of a brother pay for it, better yet just take his credit card and charge up a storm - get your hair and nails done on his dime too!
allmidnighteyes 11
pepperoni nipples
eminemchick 19
^fitting
jellitonoctopus 19
Hmmm, should I choose matte or shine?