Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
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Top comments
bittersweets 2
on the other hand: how nice of her to think of your needs
calcboi 0
Maybe it's because you're SO big you hurt her, and weed is the only thing that relaxes her enough to make the pain go away. Lolz.
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Comments (104)
Pastor_Rich 0
u probably gained alot of weight and are disgusting, at least she's taking care of wifely duties
nirvan5a 1
oh man, I want smoke weed.
netbeui435 3
boo hoo
PaulieeBooMN 0
oh baaa!
jLm4eva 0
haha
Dickninja 0
Thats what ive been doing.
JOLiiE_fml 0
awwww thats sadd!
InsideJokesRock 0
Maybe she just wanted to be crazier for you LOL. Good luck with that.
madamegabby 1
hey ur a lucky man if my bf was that sucky at sex i would dump his ass. at least she loves u enough to try and make u happy dont be such a douchebag and return the favor, try to make her happt too!!!!
Vagrarian 2
Yo, morons...IT'S THE WIFE'S FAULT. 1) She never communicated to her husband that she was unhappy in bed. Newsflash...he can't make her happy if she's not communicating to him what she needs! 2) Telling him she has to "force herself" to have sex with him is a slap in the face. For anyone to say that to a spouse is a big "**** you." And yet idiots come on here and tell the husband it's his fault for being sucky at sex like #116 or ignoring his wife or having a small ****. What the hell is up with you haters? Come on, folks...you'd be shocked at how often these problems are the wife's fault. From what the OP is saying, I can only draw the conclusions that his wife hasn't been communicating to him and now is communicating by figuratively kicking him in the crotch. In my view, this marriage is in serious trouble and probably is already over...and it's HER fault.
xLovey 3
It's not necessarily her fault, it could be, but not necessarily. It's possible that the man is really bad at sex, or really fat and disgusting, or that the woman could just be unable to ****** during sex, that's not unheard... I've certainly heard of that T_T
mishel 0
Don't really believe it. If you kissed, you definitely would've noticed the smell.