Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML
Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
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Top comments
uns211 0
how the **** do these fmls even get accepted :/
XR6Falcon 0
but you are desperate and why would you care what a dirty stripper thinks of you?
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Comments (102)
oxrox 0
So?
sugarbabyxoxo 2
you better have been going to Showgirls!!! I don't knownif they have show girls in France. but they should! lol. they have them all over Canada.
13__Loki__13 1
Yeah, be coy. That will really turn the strippers on and make them respect you. "Oh he's the discerning perv in the club. A girl would be honored to be chosen to grind on his crotch for tips!" Seriously? Pay the 50-100 bucks, get your half and half, and go home!
conrad01 6
...strippers don't have feelings silly they see enough desperate men to forget you anyways
bcwarrior60 0
it's what ever went to the club last night then got drunk
luvmuffin10 0
You should **** every single one of the people that judge you
TheSlipperyNippl 0
I don't get it
renaissancegrrl 0
You're flattering yourself thinking they'll REMEMBER you.
meluvsyou 0
@#37, before you call people idiots, make sure you do spell check on your own insults. OP is a ****** (not literally or maybe idk)
aninalcruelty 0
... #37 spelled it correctly
mccarty_2 0
strip clubs aren't that bad if u go to the right ones cuz most of the girls are hot and there not ****** and there cool as shit to hangout with plus what guy doesn't like Rita gettin put in his face