Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, after I took off a week from work to grieve the loss of my girlfriend, who was very sick and passed due to natural causes, my paycheck suffered because of that and last night, to avoid going back to hard drugs, I went out to the clubs where I blew the only 250 bucks I had on strippers and drinks. Now I have 0 bucks for rent. FML
Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML
Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
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Top comments
uns211 0
how the **** do these fmls even get accepted :/
XR6Falcon 0
but you are desperate and why would you care what a dirty stripper thinks of you?
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Comments (102)
bjcarson 0
flesh light that shiz up son.
ILikePopCorn 0
haha #19 just made my day.
ILikePopCorn 0
haha this is the stupidist most retardest FML ever.
samuelmartin 0
33, they are not judging him because they are to busy worrying about being judged by him for striping.
lxclark 17
Haha made me lol :P Good idea!
Dynoblaze 1
Dont stop going to strip clubs. single mothers and poor college chicks need your help.
Yankeepunk 0
my buddies and I went to a strip club once and then one of my freinds went back like 5 times! the Strippers did Recognize him hahaha Strip Clubs are fun. just dont make it a weekly thing
umhiimrawr 0
You will always look desperate at a strip club. It just means you have no dignity or respect for yourself or anybody else in the world. And even somebody as stupid and lacking self-respect as a STRIPPER realizes you're a desperate ****.
yupishi 2
Has anyone else noticed how many intimacy FMLs ome from Nord-Pas-De-Calais? Is there something in the water over there that somehow influences people's sex lives?
LizN 0
I hate judgemental people, why assume the girls have zero feelings and are ******? What club have you been going too? HELLO--- Penthouse Club--- Beautiful girls that have more money than most of the ignorant people with the derogatory comments!