Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML
Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must've been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I decided to have some bagels. It was only after I ate them that I looked at the cream cheese and discovered that it expired 3 years ago. FML
Today, like many other days, I got up to make breakfast before dawn. Not wanting to waste food, I took apart a chicken that looked fine, cutting away some of the breast for a burrito, only to realize after I ate it and went to throw out the bony bits, it was completely moldy underneath. Penicillin, anyone? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Actually, it was 100% mold. That's what cheese is.
Occums_Razor 0
You shoulda checked.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
Laxloverr24 0
since when is MOLD spelled MOULD?
youEQUALtosser 0
Since a certain group of people decided to butcher the English language.
your_face 15
By "a certain group of people," do you mean the Americans? Because I might be wrong, I'm pretty sure the English were speaking UK English before the pilgrims came to America. And American English didn't come into being until after that. So really, the word has probably been spelled "mould" longer than "mold," and clearly remains to be spelled that way in the UK, where OP is from. It's like "colour," or "favourite."
youEQUALtosser 0
And I'm saying the Americans butchered the language...
tikimuppet 11
It's because too many letters complicate things for them.
your_face 15
Well then, the answer to my first question is "yes." I just wasn't sure who you were accusing, exactly.
CableX17 0
Tiki. It wasn't that more letters was complicated. It was an act of rebelion. Just like everything else about the US that differs from England. When we seperated ourselves from the British we wanted nothing to do with them, so we changed everything we could, just to be different. Including things like spelling.
FJT 0
mould is spelt like that in Australia, and obviously the UK! OP definetely check your cheese before you throw it on your meal! very silly
Person1233 13
I'm not familiar with that spelling of mold. Hmm. Another word where "u" is pointlessly added @__@
sundayporch 2
"U"s aren't added, you moron. They are original and Americans simply chose to remove them, because the extra letter is MUCH too hard for them to comprehend.
teamrocketemily 0
Excuse me, but are you ******* stupid? The u isn't "added", dumbass, it is actually removed in American English. If you want to be a little patriot that isn't the right way to do it.
Person1233 13
Wow. You people are so ******* insecure.
toxicxflower 0
..how is saying that "mould" was spelled like so before "mold" make them insecure? you are not the brightest lightbulb in the box, are you?
CableX17 0
I'll refer the idiot above to my previous comment. Learn your history, you won't look so ignorant that way.
cerebellum_fml 0
cheese is mold. . .
zabeth_fml 0
Guys, it's called the ENGLISH language. Therefore if it's a Brit saying it, you're probably the ones with the messed up spelling. Anyway. YDI for not checking. Parmesan is normally okay though, it doesn't go green ... well, I dunno how long you had it. :P Still your fault for not looking at/smelling something before you used it like that.
bobsanction 18
Technically speaking, all cheese is mold.
youlose_ 0
CHEEZ :0
Kharma25 0
To everyone who said, "Cheese IS mold." I have news for you, it's NOT. It's a dairy product. SOME cheeses are aged and have a small amount of "mold" on them (i.e. Bleu Cheese) but cheese itself IS NOT mold.
mohamedrocks 0
Wow
CarterColbie 4
YDI for spelling "mold" as "mould" Dumbass.
Intoxicunt 6
STFU. Either you're unaware that your spelling of certain words isn't the only one, and thus are an uncultured idiot, or you just think your way is better, and thus are an egotistical bitch. Unless you were being sarcastic. >_>
confizzled 0
It's people like #42 that make other countries hate america and think all americans are dumbasses ._.