Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML
Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML
Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML
Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML
Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
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Top comments
DropDead77 11
how ironic :P
jewels1877 0
Well, at least you aren't a hunchback?
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Comments (88)
darkmis1 18
Not all chiropractors are full of it. Mine told me to see a doctor and get X-rays on my back to make sure nothing was wrong. If your back is misaligned, OP, a few adjustments should fix it. Keep working on better posture though.
catalin 0
I was just trying to be ironical. I am actually a masseur and it's quite surprising how many clients I get after visiting doctors with no results. Some medical procedures still have flaws and people can't seem to realise that all they need to do to feel better is have a healthier life. It's not quantam physics, it's just so simple.
krez 20
darkmis1, so you paid someone to tell you to go to a real doctor? Read about what chiropractic is, the theory behind it, etc. You will be amazed that it is even legal.
darkmis1 18
76: I had gone there for a few realignments before, which had helped, but the pain in my back wouldn't go away. He suggested I get an x-ray of it to make sure there was nothing he couldn't see. Luckily there wasn't, but I need to make my back muscles stronger. He could've kept taking my money, but he actually was decent enough to tell me to see my doctor. Not all chiropractors are bad.
Quasar55_fml 18
Gee : / I have started to do that to recently ... guess now I will get back to my leaned posture ^^ and NO teacher can blame me about it !
HomeAl0ne 20
Gee, what a surprise, a chiropractor identified that you have 'misaligned your spine'. Chiropractic is pseudo-scientific quackery. The only realignment of your spine they are going to achieve is by removing money from your wallet so it doesn't prop up your bum on that side so much.
Ori_oh 0
ouch. I guess I wont be doing that anymore.
CabbageTrees 13
Did you know that your posture is best when you're reclining, NOT when you are standing/sitting up straight. A laid back posture is probably the best way to sit in a chair! :)
julian24245 0
Go hard or go home right? At least you tried.
insomniac8400 13
ydi you're back isnt supposed to be completely straight
SwaffDaddy96 5
Well that's irony for ya, never said it was fair. :o
Kagegon 6
It must've been awkward for you to walk down the halls in that position
worldclassrager 41
I've done that...worst back pain ever