Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML
Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML
Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML
Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML
Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
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Top comments
DropDead77 11
how ironic :P
jewels1877 0
Well, at least you aren't a hunchback?
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Comments (88)
supahnazi 0
i think weve all tried doing this atleast once or twice in r lives. didnt no it culd mess up my spine; guess ill b more careful
randomnameflob 0
Try English?
Thisismoses 0
some talent you have, sarcasm
ElectricGhost_fml 5
ew, that's just gross!!!! Looking at people who don't sit up straight, like wow, do you really want a hunchback when you get older?!?! I think you look neater and not uncomfortable like if you don't sit up straight. Don't forget that I'm just saying my opinion!!!!
xXSillyLoveXx 0
No one said OP is a hunchback. Maybe she forgot to keep a straight back. I'm speaking as a person with excellent posture, so I'm not sure, but I'm not sure bad posture is 'gross'. I'm just saying my mind aswell.
ElectricGhost_fml 5
I'm not saying that gross in the way your taking it. I mean gross because not siting up straight usually always leads to a hunchback which I find gross and it looks very uncomfortable.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Yes, bad posture may lead to that, but I disagree. I feel bad for the people who have to hunch over day-to-day, it does look uncomfortable and a little odd, but can they help it? Yes, maybe when OP was younger she should've stood up straighter, and because she didn't, it lead to consenquences.
Polkadotscarf 0
Well, you know, even if the OP could have had better posture in her younger years, sometimes that doesn't help... I had perfect posture, but I still have scoliosis. 25 degrees, in fact. Although it's nice of you for sympathizing.
xoxchelaxox08 17
I used to have great posture... until puberty came into the picture. :(
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Really? Didn't think puberty affected posture. To the day I still have good posture, but everyone's different I guess.
xoxchelaxox08 17
Well, I can't DIRECTLY say puberty, but it IS what made me grow enormous boobs :( I've actually had back surgery due to them. They cause me pain constantly.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
NOW I see how puberty affects posture. Bravo.
AntoshaChekhonte 6
You were paralyzed in your torso for all intents and purposes and you went to a chiropractor? I bet he was the one who told you to try and improve your posture too, right? Go see a real doctor. Seriously.
ohrlynow 9
I doubt you misaligned your spine in one day :/ It was likely that way for awhile and you noticed it after trying to change your posture.
krez 20
...or chiropractors make shit up...
alex1432 9
/like
Silver791 0
Try streching befor bed. Thats how I have a sraight back
insanesna1l 0
I do that when I think I am dreaming
catalin 0
Since chiropractors are full of it, you should go directly for a marrow biopsy. It won't hurt that much. (after the first few weeks)