Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML
Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML
Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML
Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML
Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
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Top comments
DropDead77 11
how ironic :P
jewels1877 0
Well, at least you aren't a hunchback?
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Comments (88)
theservant 1
you deserve it for not knowing that chiropractic is quackery.
fubar4961 0
Yur doin it left...
Skrin_fml 0
I see what you did thar
SassiestLemon 2
As did I.
john7h567hgrd 0
And me.
krez 20
You should see a real physician. Of course a chiropractor will tell you your spine is misaligned, otherwise he doesn't get paid. Chiropractic was invented by a guy who healed with magnets and invented some magical "flow" that his "adjustments" were helping... there is not ONE IOTA of scientific evidence supporting this quackery.
mcnally664 5
Exactly...so skip the chiropractor and go straight for the live blood analysis.
yanksby7 6
Amen...you probably overused weak muscles sending them into spasm. You could have saved the cash from the chiropractor and just iced it- which is pretty much what you are supposed to do after ANY injury (unless you're allergic to ice). And on top of that, aside from light stretching, no one should work on you like that with an acute injury. Sincerely, Someone who knows what she's talking about
bitchmode 0
ASS TO ASS
ndvorsky 4
how could chiropractic services not have any real facts showing that it works while it is also such a big field.( but I agree that the inventor was dumb for thinking it was magic) another point: it has also been proven that magnets can change how the body does stuff at that moment also it doesn't matter how it was invented or by who it could still produce results. it is like acupuncture something people do not think works because they say it affects "chalkra" (or something like that, I don't know) but it has been proven to have results for a completely different reason
Miss_Random 0
Ya know, whenever I try to sit straight and work on my posture I get uncomfortable. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I don't know. Eh, I just give up and slouch.
ElectricGhost_fml 5
you should have just sat up straight when you were little because it becomes a habit and now your just "trying" you need to stop trying and start doing!!!
yanksby7 6
You need to strengthen your scapular stabilizers.....it hurts cuz they're weak.
PJATOSROCKS09 0
Eh, at least you tried! Now you'll know at least not to do it again!
Nellygirl 0
Wooooooooow....
MasterE56 4
no shit
Stupidpeopleanno 5
I almost passed out laughing from "my back's crooked like a question mark."
IdontWanna69 8
Yikes... I've attempted to do the same, but it never lasts for more than a few minutes lol. I'll just continue slouching half-way down my seat.
GearHead94 3
I suggest trying again. I mean, you can only get Aids once...
SassiestLemon 2
Wtf?
ak7477 9
not true, you can have plain ol' borin aids AND super aids...I would know...my koala has em both.