Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I caught my sister taking money from my wallet. When I confronted her, she claimed that she was actually putting back money that she had stolen earlier. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!" She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML
Jorts it is
Today, I was written up for being late to work. I was late because somebody in my dorm stole my pants. All of them. FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML
Thick as thieves
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Top comments
nesscafe_fml 17
It is clear who wears the pants in that relationship...
Welshite 40
#7: too*
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Comments (91)
nesscafe_fml 17
It is clear who wears the pants in that relationship...
cakefete2 31
Also, who buys them.
StarWarsDude13 13
Ba Dum Tss
FMLkoala 28
If that was me I would have confronted her as soon as I new about it.
KatieMajestic 17
*knew Sorry for being a grammar nazi, but that one was to oblivious to let slide.
Welshite 40
#7: too*
0h_Boy 26
#7: I think you mean "obvious," not "oblivious"
JMichael 26
When grammar Nazis try to be smart and completely fail at it.
Sathane 21
"Nazi" - Names get capitals, and "obvious", not "oblivious".
KatieMajestic 17
Ah, the beauties of autocorrect. Sorry for not spelling Nazi with a capital, I thought my phone would correct that, and as for 'to' and 'too' I use 'to' more often than 'too' so my phone thought I meant 'to'. Oblivious was an autocorrect though.
Welshite 40
There is a two minute editing period for a reason. As a self-proclaimed Grammar Nazi, you should have been aware of your mistakes and corrected them accordingly.
hays_xo 15
Mashed!
raphanne_fml 33
And there is such a thing as proofreading.
Dthsapprntc 23
This is why I have turned auto correct off, and always reread what I type before posting.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I don't know, 29, it comes in handy for us lazy people haha. It only screws me over whenever I swear, such as "Duck" or "Shot". Autocorrect is like one of your quiet friends who doesn't talk much, but when they do they say the craziest shit you've never heard before.
RedPillSucks 33
like "Ima duck you up the shot hole real slow" Makes perfect sense to me...
ViktoriaaKills 13
I don't know, my autocorrect is a bit of a bitch sometimes. if I tell someone to "sh," it autocorrects to shit. :|
rlTlk 13
@20 it won't let me edit via mobile... quite frustrating actually.. :/ so going back and editing may not be an option.
Lacist 19
The fact that you're apologizing for autocorrect and typos, is funny because I'm pretty sure that guy just missed a letter when he was typing. (K and N are pretty close to each other)
intensitive 11
Pathological lying kleptomaniac. Lock your shit up and find new friends.
JennaNGood 21
I agree completely, but am mildly surprised at the expansive repertoire of comparable stories I have to this. What is it with teenage girls and thinking that it's perfectly fine to steal your clothes? Once I lent a friend my favourite pair of sweats and then when I asked for them back the next week she actually asked if she could keep them cause she liked them.
Blink_me26 21
I hope you told her hell no
daniel_dd31 13
19- Should have borrowed money from her and said "can I keep it, I just like money so much." I mean it's almost the same thing, the pants do cost money.
little_one1 14
47 I have literally been in those exact situations. I even had to lock my bras and panties up because she would steal THOSE also.
falon142012 22
I had a friend who would borrow things and never give them back. Dresses, boots, shirts, anything. Eventually I just went to her house and took everything back. I'm not sure which would be worse; having someone "borrow" things and never give them back, or steal things without you knowing. Probably the latter, because then you'd just never know what happened to those things.
Ghost308 11
She is just trying to say you have really good taste in clothes!!
greeneyebeauty9 28
I want to feel sorry for OP, but I can't. The way you worded the FML indicates you let the stealing go on for a while before finallh confronting your friend. In that case, YDI.
aforbiddendance 23
I was in the same situation. Just steal it back :)
Flowtastic 16
Or she could do what adults do and just remind her what is hers... But ya know, let's go with passive aggressiveness that's always a good answer.
emirie 21
I had a friend "borrow" a ton of my things, including a laptop and a camera. When I called her to get all my things back she said fine, come over. When I got there, a cop was waiting for me because she called them saying I was harassing her and was going to her house to rob her. I never got my shit back. Thieves are horrible people.
iknowiwantyou 13
you could've taken that to court and rightfully sued her you know. plus she would've gotten into trouble for wasting the police's time.
0h_Boy 26
You know, in some countries they still honor Hammurabi's Code
RedPillSucks 33
She'd have extra hand, but still no pants.
Bricktothehead 21
For those of us that had to look up the Code... It's the 'eye for an eye' business.
peacejunior 12
Thank you 44. It made sense after you translate it. We were taught this code in history class in 7th grade. Not in English language though. The name sounds funny here.
kellenp10 9
You should've knocked her out
JMichael 26
Those aren't your pants. She got those from the queen of Pakistan.
chuka81 27
You should have prefaced with this, "before you start saying no, let me remind you that you're wearing the evidence".
Mauskau 36
I had a friend that did that. She insisted that she had the same clothes, yet I had never seen her in them until mine went missing. I also had a friend that stole an old bath towel from my bathroom which had hair dye on it and a map of an island my parents had been to. She insisted it was hers and refused to give it back, not that we needed it back, it was more the principal. Now I don't lend people things :(