Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss called me a liar and untrustworthy. Why? Yesterday I went home to grieve, after finding out my father figure is in hospice, but because he's just in hospice and not actually dead yet, that somehow means I lied about his death to get a day off work. What? FML
Today, I ran into my boss when I was at the beach. He told me he was sorry for my loss. I asked him, "What loss?" Then I remembered I’d lied about taking time off under the pretense of bereavement of my grandmother passing away. FML
Today, I called off work saying my Great Grandmother died. A co-worker texted me later asking where and when the funeral was. I made up a lie and said some random funeral home and date. My co-workers sent flowers to the funeral home for condolences. The flowers were returned. FML
Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML
Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML
Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML
Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML
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Top comments
birdfreak 24
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your boss's a douche bag.
AmethystRain 20
You should have taken a cool "vacation" pic of yourself standing next to the casket.
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Comments (187)
phoebe333 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry for you loss. Maybe shouldn't have stayed in the sun that long if you tan easily. Why was a funeral outside I thought they were in a church.
MissRoxiie 12
When they bury the casket in the cemetary its outside, and sometimes funerals are outside as well.
phoebe333 2
Oh thanks. Didn't figure that out. Obviously :)
ALQ_fml 13
Also, not everyone is of Christian or other religious backgrounds. Churches, temples, synagogues, and mosques may hold a good number of funeral services, but there are people who specify that they don't want their funeral held in religious places.
vDisaster 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ALQ, we call them retards
Freeze_fml 17
They call you retarded right back.
vDisaster 2
Well, well see who will call who a retard when judgement day comes :p just saying homie, none personal
KyriosX 1
Jesus will call you a retard for not accepting all...
BrianAlarcon 0
R.I.P
shinotenshii 0
you called me?
LuHGiiiT 11
77 - What could that possibly even mean?
skinthesnakes 6
ignore the stupid people they will infect you.
nate_446 0
Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!
WCARlover 35
I expected a better comment from someone with such an awesome band for an avatar haha
hailphire130 0
Only their old stuff, young grasshopper.
Androidz 0
When and if they find out about your loss they will feel like dicks. Happened with my dads funeral all my class mates said I skipped class. Sorry for your loss keep your head high it does get better.
damnalltheasshol 0
good friend
BrianAlarcon 0
I hope your friend haunts your boss
leadman1989 16
Tell them what you just told us... if they don't believe that FTL. If they try to punish you (unjustly) call an attorney.
cassiewatsits2 5
Sorry to hear about your friend and #12 is right
Peonie_fml 6
That's horrible and sorry for your loss :(
hillsidehorror 5
yupp ppl need to stop making jokes and realise its serious like u
hailphire130 0
23-Can't tell if picture is real or fake...
ImmortalRiot 1
^creep
hailphire130 0
Whatever. I look at everyone's pic. That's right. Yours too... >_>
Campbec001 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Nudist funeral? 'Cause arms & head don't count as a real tan...