Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
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Top comments
StarWolf111 21
You should get a new housekeeper...
stormstarcj 12
Maybe she was in on it...
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Comments (102)
xJillBSAAx 3
Those thieves weren't exactly smart, then. Their DNA could be on that note, so that taunt can also be their undoing. Take it to the police.
ViviMage 40
You need a suspect to match DNA to. Prints my be easier to locate the prep with.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Both work if the perp is already in the system, they likely are. However that note will also likely have both prints and DNA.
elcee1987 18
Most departments are too cheap or busy to run dna for a robbery, unless op had some valuable did taken.
xJillBSAAx 3
I know, but I meant DNA such as from hair to handprints. True enough, police can be useless 99.9% of the time.
olpally 33
Consuela from family guy is your house keeper? Lol, that sucks.
dirtydiana57 3
Time to fire the housekeeper.
More_Leg 14
Sounds like your former housekeeper should replace all the stuff that was stolen
stillfedupfromla 3
You can afford a housekeeper? Swallow your losses and clean your own damn place. But agreed, fire the housekeeper...
evilplatypus 39
Housekeepers really don't cost that much. There's one near my house that charges $15 an hour. And if you have other, more productive things to do with your time, why not hire one?
etishuman22 32
That's... that's more than I make. I should quit and become a housekeeper.
TheDrifter 24
I pay mine $20/hr. 4 hours, every other week, $160a month for a clean house :) Worth it to me.
love_me_electric 20
My boyfriend used to rent out his house to 3 young guys who did not know how to clean up after themselves. He spent around $300/month on housekeeping (She'd come for 3-4 hours every week, I think he paid her $20/hr).
Enslaved 38
I agree TheDrifter, well worth every cent so that I can spend time with my family instead of (deep) cleaning on my day off -- I also have a housekeeper. She comes over every other week. Charges $80. a day and cleans like a ******* demon! I'm providing someone with a job. Why would that be a bad thing?
mrcreepy 1
You've got to admit its a luxury.. I've been in situations where it would've been nice but even with two of us doing full time it would have been hard to justify. Not saying I don't think it's crap I just don't think this guy deserves all the bad votes
JaegerMayCry 13
Why do I feel as if the housekeeper was In on the whole thing and had planned to ransack your house ahead of time? This would make a better plot for a movie than half of the stuff they make in hollywood.
nikkiluvzglen 16
Is your housekeeper by any chance named consuela?
PureGhost 11
Oh well suck it up and learn to clean your own house
AshleaJstudent 16
If you want something done right, do it yourself.
ifavela89 13
Hope your firing the maid. She's probably got nothing to clean now