Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I discovered that my dog knows how to lock doors. This wouldn't have been a problem if anyone in my house every carried a key. FML
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Top comments
TheCurvyGamer 17
What a crabby day. Sorry, shouldn't have made that pun. It's a little eggstreme.
FuKcMee 32
smart little prick
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Comments (52)
ulissey_fml 22
My old cat could tackle any kitchen cabinet or fridge , no matter how new , hard to work on or big. So I equipped all of them with clew blocks and cleats, as my dad was a keen sailor. That made for fun conversations when newcomers visited my place. I don't know about dogs, but when a cat has trained itself to learn a trick, you will have a hard time outsmarting it.
Tomryan279 10
Hey now you just have to teach the dog to cook and you will have the dog version of ratatouille. Plus I would think it would be more hygienic if a dog cooked in stead of a rat!
Inkoseh 33
Child Safety Lock! Sucks, but until you can catch him doing it and discipline, he'll keep doing it!
Cakeknight 9
welp, better hope he doesn't shit in the house
Calingaladha 21
If it was crab still in the shell, you might wanna keep an eye on your dog. Those shells can cause blockages and cut up the digestive tract.
RusticChick 27
Your only concern should be the crab. Eggs are great for a dogs skin and coat! Egg shells are much less likely to make cuts or get stuck than crab shells would! Hope doggo is okay!
fangirlofthings 21
They did. The dog is a he.
middlenamefrank 8
I'd be all about "fyl", except for one word in your story, "again". After the first time it happened, why not find some child-proofing device to keep the dog out of the fridge? Sorry, but because of that "again", ydi.
NotCollegeBound 17
Locking up the fridge would, IMO, be a last resort. OP might have wanted to try other methods first, like obedience training or putting something in the way of the kitchen so the dog couldn't get in. If the fridge doesn't belong to OP (like in an apartment or rental home) then putting a child lock on it might be against the lease, since most are destructive to install.
MysteryGuest214 10
And some are easy to install and remove. OP should get one immediately.
worldclassrager 41
Did he enjoy some drawn (out) butter as well? Time to maybe child/dog proof the fridge OP
MadJessTic 29
Again??