Today, I found out that my wife of five years is also my half-sister. She has no idea, I don't know how to tell her, and I've never been more turned on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Crushed
Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML
BREAKING NEWS
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
That's so sick!
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML
Work name
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML
Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML
Today, I just found out that my sister slept with the guy that I have had a crush on for years and that she may or may not be pregnant with his child. FML
Top comments
maeh_fml 6
Of all the made up bullshit stories on this website, this is the most made up bullshit.
perryjam421 3
you're living the dream. however messed up that dream is
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Comments (21)
perryjam421 3
you're living the dream. however messed up that dream is
maeh_fml 6
Of all the made up bullshit stories on this website, this is the most made up bullshit.
alycion 39
Not all states require blood tests or any checks like that. Still bullshit though.
mrhappynottms 7
Roll Tide!
Dodge4x4Ram 46
The disturbance reached deep.
darkenedone 27
That took a turn.
tounces7 28
By "Bro". Yeah, right, whatever.
RichardPencil 32
You’d think at the wedding when your wife introduced you to her mom, you’d say, “Hey, you look familiar. Where do I know you from? No, wait, don’t tell me...”
thehaystackerine 20
she could be from his dad and another woman, in which case it's entirely possible that his dad hasn't seen her, wouldn't recognize her.
RichardPencil 32
That scenario is actually more plausible, but it's more comedic if they had the same mom.
Wisernow 10
Before you say or do anything, you need to have a long talk with a therapist. If this is true, it's still not the end of the world. Your children (should you choose to pursue that) will likely be just fine. It's when generations interbreed that weird genetics begin to manifest. If this is legit, you will need some guidance navigating through.
childlessmother 16
Sorry I just vomited in my mouth!
ThrottleJockey 36
The only thing left for you to do is to learn to play the banjo.