Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML
Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML
Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML
Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML
Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML
Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML
Today, there's lethal flooding in the Reno area, with all roads to my work closed and flooded. My boss still expects me to drive through it, in the dark, to work at 6am. FML
Today, after I was on deployment 6000 miles away, and because my wife was struggling pretty bad with work, kids, and taking care of everything on her own, she finally had a breakdown so I came home early to help. I found out she was fucking another Navy dude the whole time. I should've stayed out there. FML
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Top comments
letmeinplease 0
Well at least you've got practice...
Dopeyrox 0
well, at least your use to the water right?
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Comments (104)
letmeinplease 0
Well at least you've got practice...
Melvar_10 3
Quick-e mart? Is tere such a thing other than the ones in the simpsons?? •-O
imbatman_fml 0
so it will be like being on the boat, just not a sausagefest. unless you're that way.
unmadebed 0
I was wondering the same thing. Didn't know there were actual quick e marts.
The_grumpy_bear 0
I bet you are sick of water! It could have been worse. I was expecting you to say something about your woman with another man.
vdk4601 0
good thing you got the skills lol
Trickyklown 0
Just be happy you're not surrounded by seamen this time. Unless you wanna be.
Shystai 0
^^ win
wasted0087 0
I believe he means the Shopette, it's very similar to the Quick-E-Mart at the base where I'm at.
piinkbunnii 1
Who needs the Kwik E Mart?
jpgray1982 0
I do
Drakon_fml 7
It makes me sicky mart...
ChaplinSnakker 0
The kwick-e-mart is real... D'OH!
buddybudda 0
dude not fyl...you could make your life into a movie
pooley 0
D'oh!
iSitt 0
op is fighting for our right to post fmls and our right to guzzle gas
hahayousucks 3
request permission to borrow a battleship. lol
M4V3R1CKR13 0
Simpsons Refrence?
aznmen 0
OP how do you have Internet?
Nolwen_fml 0
iphone.
azhein 0
14 you know women are on the boats now. they just can't be on subs or seals
nolovin 0
Actually we are allowed on submarines as of this year, at least i know officers are
LabRats_fml 4
let's hurl a bricky-mart
Dopeyrox 0
well, at least your use to the water right?
BelleElle_fml 5
LOL! That actually sounds like a lot of fun, even though by now your probably sick of being surrounded by water. :)
lovehurtz7 0
at least it wasnt katrina.! : [
Argumental_Rhino 8
I don't have a quick-e-mart here.... Lucky bastard *mumble*
andydawg8891 0
I'm sailing away....
xLeftoverxCrackx 0
Set an open course for the virgin sea, 'Cause I've got to be free, Free to face the life that's ahead of me, On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard, We'll search for tomorrow on every shore, And I'll try, Oh Lord I'll try, to carry on I look to the sea, Reflections in the waves spark my memory, Some happy, some sad, I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had, We lived happily forever, so the story goes, But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold But we'll try best that we can to carry on A gathering of angels appeared above my head, They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said, They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me baby, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise, We climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies Singing come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me...
rebdoom 0
Cartman?
NordicFailure 0
The irony, I'm watching that South Paek episode now. Epic win!
Jennifra 0
Thank you for serving. :)
gronkan 0
...but your tip will be a bit small cause my potatoes weren't really done.
jjtivey97 0
haha 16. though it wouldve been funnier if she had meant it that way...
iheartpie 0
Who wants to eat my ******?
Imaonaise 0
Do you need an "injection?"
916aLltheway 0
depends:]
Melvar_10 3
yes he or she does. I hate anti flood >•(
iheartpie 0
Only if the injection is your penis.
drcool41 0
my injection wouldn't fit!
916aLltheway 0
this is fake
Imaonaise 0
At least you've se7en months of practice!
Volcomsmy_Lyfe 0
welcome home!!
FYLDeep 26
Cheer up, I'm sure the tides will change soon enough.
redwingss 0
that REALLY sucks :(