Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
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Top comments
ckr911 5
Ahh, smart guy.
FMLandurstoo 9
You did drop something. Your virginity. I'll pick it up for you though. Mmmmmmhmmmmm
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Comments (170)
ckr911 5
Ahh, smart guy.
deviable 9
I loved that show.
tatababe 1
How creative
tatababe 1
How creative
tatababe 1
How creative
tatababe 1
How creative
enonymous 9
Quintuple Creative
deviable 9
I'll give you a creative so you can creative while you creative.
changesinme 0
Einstein on scooter
enonymous 9
35 it's actually Newton not Einstein.
nalia18 8
Welp there goes your dignity
JenDanielle917 13
42- there is nothing for you to say about dignity, with your picture.
KrazieKleo 13
48- you're kidding right? Justine Bitchieber is the hottest girl ever!!
MrPedoBear_fml 4
I'll help you up that bumpy hill
shireeniee 8
Ahh watch our for pedobear!
RSX92 3
Were u by any chance going to movie rental store
Anubyte 0
Well there goes your autocorrect
nalia18 8
Well i know i have no dignity for looking like justin bieber but it seems every time i visit canada i get arrested for pedophile charges.
luis_r96 4
No different guy lol
doctorwhogirl 0
Reading this fml whilst on the toilet,
idontcare8l 3
48 - so did the cat sleep tonight? Haha , i like your picture though on a serious note
nolaneldridge 1
what a dick...
vsat207 0
Op could've said that scooters are like fat girlfriends, fun to ride but not something to show around.
ckr911 5
You must have been waiting FOREVER to share that joke.
vsat207 0
Actually unlike you I have better things to do but wait to tell jokes and post 15 comments per fml.
dumboears 8
I wouldn't care if it was a dick move, I'd still laugh at it like I am now.
bevsta 7
You look fun
CRiiSPY_fml 0
Op should have said something about scooter belonging in the closet along with their sexuality...
thisisafunnyname 12
That, my friends, is why you don't go any where without your glock.
alsnyder12 0
Lmao, *******... Great
Gymnast317 4
He's an asshole!
BellaBelle_fml 23
He's an evil genius!
MarioDragon 14
That'd make my morning bike ride all the better
dumboears 8
He's hilarious.
kirsty1551 3
what does momentum mean? c:
BellaBelle_fml 23
kirsty1551- Stay in school...forever.
phoenixslayer69 4
If you need to ask this question, you should first ask your parents for permission to go on FML
starwind3438 9
It's ok 70. You're blond.
starwind3438 9
94,it can be spelled either way idiot.
Adman567 9
How bout u all leave kirsty the **** alone. Who cares if she doesnt know wat momentum means and wtf is with the blonde jokes, shes probably good at other things so calm
vergaso 0
Stop sucking kursty's dick... She is obviously retarded or a bad bad bad obvious troll... If not she's a child.... And we don't need more retarded child wannabe trolls here.... That is all
vergaso 0
Stop sucking kursty's dick... She is obviously retarded or a bad bad bad obvious troll... If not she's a child.... And we don't need more retarded child wannabe trolls here.... That is all
dumboears 8
Kirsty, lemme introduce you to my friend google
FMLandurstoo 9
You did drop something. Your virginity. I'll pick it up for you though. Mmmmmmhmmmmm
instnt1nfction 17
Are you a pedophile?
FMLandurstoo 9
Duh.
XKXKKXK 10
Giggity giggity goo!
sleepydeath 4
That new paper boy gone and broke my sternum
stevenJB 25
Haha oh Herbert..... Plz don't touch me
EvilPotato 15
4 mommy, I'm scared.
FMLandurstoo 9
I'll touch you a lot
saga_darlin 0
herbert the pervert
angrymexican 8
I miss those family guy character conversations on fml
UrNuckinFuts 0
Now kids, that's an asshole! :( sorry op!!
wakadalhadaf 4
Smartest guy in the world!!!
Bajee 10
What a douche!!!
rkmepm 16
What a showerhead? :S
nate_msm 0
He had a point tho but still FYL
illmatic2 16
You got trolled IRL.
ricinator 11
he did get trolled, but if I were him, I would've just laughed it off in my own embarrassment at how much of a genius that guy was :P
rkmepm 16
Trolololololol ^^ but in all seriousness I would be pretty angry at the scooter boy
The_Instigator 11
You have to admit, that is pretty funny.
atlanta_lex 0
That sucks...what a douche. Since you were already stopped, you should've picked up a stick and thrown it at his wheel so it would get caught in the spokes and he would fall.
atlanta_lex 0
**** I just re-read where it says the other dude was on a scooter........so never mind
ricinator 11
it might have been a motorized scooter... not the push ones, cause it says the guy headed past him. A push scooter can't really be much faster than a bike
thepatty8474 10
Scooters still have wheels and spokes... Some do...