Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML
Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
Today, it's the fourth day since I got home from hospital in a wheelchair after a car wreck. It was also the first day that someone in my house offered to do something for me. My father-in-law visited and offered to make me a sandwich. My response? I cried. My wife and kids laughed at me. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
charming mother you have.
zandalee 20
Hit her with your walking stick.
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Comments (125)
afropuffjake 9
Trip her with your crutch then when she tries to get you in trouble call her out for being mean to a crippled.
failhipster 8
The same exact thing happened to me last year same circumstances and all
erique429 1
Come on lighten up, geez she wasn't being serious!
timisrude11 1
Get over it cupcake
xNephilim 19
I like your momma. My boyfriend broke his foot and has to wear one of those nice boots AND use crutches. I lovingly call him my little cripple. :3
jessimica642 8
Today, because I'm so use to only using my iPod, while at my friends house watching TV I looked at the top of the screen to see what time it was. FML
SwordOfTheSky 4
Don't be so sensitive! I've broken 3 bones in my lifetime and my mom is like that every time! I'm sure your mom was just teasing you like mine does. :) Just laugh it off and tease her back! :)
zombiejombie 0
My mother does the same thing.
sambudd14 2
Sounds like my mum :L
birdmanjr 1
Learn to take a joke