Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML
Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
Today, it's the fourth day since I got home from hospital in a wheelchair after a car wreck. It was also the first day that someone in my house offered to do something for me. My father-in-law visited and offered to make me a sandwich. My response? I cried. My wife and kids laughed at me. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
charming mother you have.
zandalee 20
Hit her with your walking stick.
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Comments (125)
Arrawyn 12
You should run like hell away from that crazy, retarded mother of yours. Oh wait...
Bluedog42 7
She's funny!
MDTeddy 13
That wasn't even remotely funny. Srry OP.
pammievb 2
Some kind of a mom she is!
ilovefall10 21
*Alarms go off* BITCH ALERT ! BITCH ALERT!
LuckyLynx7732 5
Am I the only one who thought of that family guy where Joe is face first on the floor and says "Don't help me, I need to retain my independence."
Albarufus 13
Mom of the year!
knt0122 0
Let's talk to her "you gave birth to cripple!"
gabbs1130 0
Don't take things so seriously -_- that's not an FML that's funny.
translat0r 2
Get over yourself. It's a joke, thus, laughter reigned throughout the land. If you can't deal with a simple joke, then I'm afraid your life is going to be riddled with "horrible" events. So, to you I say good luck.
THE_A_TEEN 28
If you were in his shoes, you'd be crying FML.
alycion 39
Not really. I have a unknown pain disorder and there are days I can't walk. And yes, those close to me joke about it. I need understanding. Not to be surrounded in pity. Jokes help me get through the tough times.