Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML
Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
Today, it's the fourth day since I got home from hospital in a wheelchair after a car wreck. It was also the first day that someone in my house offered to do something for me. My father-in-law visited and offered to make me a sandwich. My response? I cried. My wife and kids laughed at me. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
charming mother you have.
zandalee 20
Hit her with your walking stick.
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Comments (125)
breeY0 7
Just keep asking her for random shit, if she refuses, then just remind her you're "crippled". Guilt triiiiiip
Michael_92 20
Maybe make it a point to stoop down to her level and ask for her help for all kinda things.
danielwilliams57 6
Family..
Superstitious 6
Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em on eBay
doodlebop69 3
I'm a cripple too after my surgery but ankle my whole family frequently does this
YourMoms_BF 2
When she gets old and she asks for a glass of water, tell her "you are not old are you? but wait you are hahaha" .
vietboi2991 15
Is it bad that I laughed hysterically too?
MidnaLink 35
Yes
1crabbygirl 10
double no.
Rocky007 15
Funny mon!
breeY0 7
I read your comment with a jamaican accent, lol
seasonedtoast 19
Those jelly fish from Shark Tale? Yep.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
21- I did the same thing and I wasn't even aware of it! Only after I read your comment did I realize xD
BunchieRules 31
I hate it when I end up pressing the key right next to the key I'm trying to press. 20's comment works either way, although I do like the Jamaican version better, mon.
fordman22 0
Kick er in da ballls brooo - oh wait you crippled ma bad lol
redmane 21
I felt smart reading your comment. Thank you.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
If it's a her, and she's a mother, I'm going to assume she doesn't have balls.
fordman22 0
;)
Mr_Valerio 0
Hmmm well she's just wonderful :)
Thruan 5
Wow it's called a joke. You really need to get the doctors to implant some humor into you.