Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML
Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
Today, it's the fourth day since I got home from hospital in a wheelchair after a car wreck. It was also the first day that someone in my house offered to do something for me. My father-in-law visited and offered to make me a sandwich. My response? I cried. My wife and kids laughed at me. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
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Top comments
hannaaaahr 33
charming mother you have.
zandalee 20
Hit her with your walking stick.
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Comments (125)
hannaaaahr 33
charming mother you have.
RaggleFrock 13
One day you will choose her retirement home ;)
ComTlancy 12
She knee'd to say such a bad joke
Hiimhaileypotter 53
My mom would do something like this.
noto_fml 0
Quite charming. Plus she still has her humor intact. Deal with it for now and think of quick comebacks for later
katieeamberr 2
#1 - I couldn't help but read that In yoda's voice.
RacerX1695 1
So OP, it looks like that arrow was a pain in the knee, and your mom is a pain in the ass.
You_Screwed_Up 7
She was just pulling your leg
drunkandfml 11
'Mom of the Year' right there.
Zimmington 21
Juiced
livnlasvegas 3
My mother did the exact same thing to me twice. Ive had to knee surgeries
Dilwann 27
Well... you are. For now.
Superstitious 6
Laughin' at cripples...a beloved American pastime
DespairFaction 11
For a long time. That knee surgery is no joke. I wish you a speedy and full recovery OP.
cheetahbaby96 8
I'm curious what kind of knee surgery OP had...
Larawk 8
This is when you sneak off in the night to have a secret surgery to give you a robotic leg. Then scare her with the thought of a super punt.
chris71sk8r 8
Knee surgery? I think OP is a guard from Skyrim.
Zomg_Okay 27
I'm on my hands and knees here, begging you all to stop. There's seemingly been a spike in those jokes lately. Please don't start it again!
DespairFaction 11
I thought you were giving free head.
chris71sk8r 8
26- I never make jokes like this. I hate Internet memes! But I had to. I had to dammit!
chris71sk8r 8
26- I never make jokes like this. I hate internet memes! But I had to. I had to dammit! Also, since your already on your hands and kneeeeeees… can you scrub the floor?
Zomg_Okay 27
71 - Free? No. 75 - Looks clean enough to me. :)
ebonyirony 29
What a bitch :( did she at least get you water?
Inheritance 10
My guess, no.
simonsaysYDI 8
I'm sure OPs mom got him/her water. She's just giving him a hard time, not being mean. I laughed at my mom after she broke her collarbone and she was forced to be a couch potato for a week, but I also got her water, changed her ice constantly and made her all of her meals.
Kajol123 5
Just because the mother laughed at OP doesn't mean she's a bitch! Our generation has barely any respect for our mothers anymore :(
ebonyirony 29
I love my mom. She's hilarious. But she can be nasty too sometimes. I respect her though That was a bitch move if you're in that much pain or cannot move.
zandalee 20
Hit her with your walking stick.
iGrassYourSister 6
ah and again one of top comments promotes violence against parents. are all fml users underage weaklings that can't take a joke???
kittenvks 11
^oh the irony
Bonzer 2
47- You are the one who is a "underage weakling that can't take a joke." He was obviously joking, and if you can't take a joke, you might as well leave FML.
iGrassYourSister 6
#52 I gotta feel sorry for you dumbasses who think's that it is funny EVERYTIME fml is about parents. And not only this shit is old, it's not even remotely funny. Only people that find this appealing are "underage weaklings" that haven't gone through their rebel phase yet, and that's you my friend, u have no taste and u don't know good jokes, I guess that's what happens if u spend ur whole childhood watching tom and jerrry and simply know no better.
Wicked361 8
91- People like the joke. What is wrong with that? Either you are trying to get into an argument or you just need to take a chill pil.
jamejame97 12
what a way to show sympathy :P
lenluigi 6
did she at least get you the water you requested? it would be really mean of her if she walked up to you with the water and drank it right in front of you.......just saying
Alphakhiash 13
Work up the fortitude to get yourself a glass of water. Pour water on mother. She won't retaliate; you're handicapped for a little while. Victory shall be yours.
iRoc46n2 4
She just had a mind fart.....not a big deal
redmane 21
It is you that had the mind fart. Read between the lines.
iRoc46n2 4
From what I gather, the FML is based on her forgetting about him having surgey. People can tend to let things slip from their mind. Or is it based on her laughing at him hysterically? Maybe my mind is farting.
liv4theearth 13
I'm pretty sure she didn't forget. I think her pun was intentional.
Kibaruto 33
At that point don't even ask her. You don't need her OP, be a man and crawl to your water! Be the alpha cripple! Show the other cripples your dominance!
Spiral_Thoughts 19
"I used to get my own water . . . but then I took an arrow to the knee."
atitud3 12
Haha