Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Manners went out of style in the early 90's. It seems you won't make it anywhere in this world if you're polite to others. People seem to take it the wrong way and see you as even more of an asshole than you really are. If you were even one in the first place.
JokeMeister 0
The correct response was"**** You!!"
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Comments (285)
Mirorbo 27
Manners went out of style in the early 90's. It seems you won't make it anywhere in this world if you're polite to others. People seem to take it the wrong way and see you as even more of an asshole than you really are. If you were even one in the first place.
GavinRoskamp 0
Wrote all that and still got first. Good job.
Mirorbo 27
I cheated, darling, and edited while I still had time. Originally it was just the first statement.
sarah48_fml 0
it's not just people in new jersey.. come to vegas.. or really any other place besides tiny towns.. not a fml, just a fact of life
Mirorbo 27
Pyrite is SO much worse! You're considered rude if you're being polite. Fuhohohoho!~ Such a backwards town! Oh, but I love it so!~
kinkajoujennie 0
was it 'snookie'?
asmanoncesaid 0
obviously you've never been to texas
MissMel_xo 0
I would have told her to watch her step before she had the chance to tell me to. oh, and promptly followed by a simple "**** you"
ChubbyCake 5
Haha maybe it wasn't a lady but a dude.
KaarmaaBiitchzz 0
40 maybe you need to put a shirt on.... jezzzz!!! OP wheres the fml.... most people are rude and disrespecfull... its just life so get over it!!!!
ohthebloodygore 16
WHY AM I STILL WEARING CLOTHES THEN?!?!
andruha1123 5
normal thing here in chicago
MissMel_xo 0
Well, I'd like her to put some clothes on, those are pretty saggy ( . )( . ) ...do you have a kid?
KingDingALing 9
I'm already naked... WOOOO!!
The1AndAnonymous 2
I'd be bitter too if I lived in New Jersey
AustadTheDark 0
im from vegas and im not rude, people these days
dannyswin 0
win
PattisonDaStud 0
being rude is funnn
Tasanasanta 0
-37 People in Texas are nice, where the hell do you live? And in general, USA is more polite than the rest of the world
fuck_you_too 0
USA is more polite? I am pretty sure the US has firmly cemented itself as the prime asshole of the world. But do not worry, the US will be supplanted by China in the very near future.
aFMLaddict 0
#21 very clever, never thought of that. OP: Shit happends. did you really had to post this on FML? definitly not deserved but neither a FML...
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Wait, people actually wear clothes while commenting? *blush* 25: Not in Nashvegas. In a lot of Southern cities, people are generally nice to your face. They make up for it once you're out of earshot. :}
starile 20
Stay in LA or Southern California. People will apologize if they're even slightly in your way or brush by you. It's super chill.
mfmylifesrsly 30
54 - because you're looked at as easy if you take pictures in just a bra.
husky88 1
I live in NYC and most people are pretty nice actually, the rude people come from jersey
TheSarge 0
it's ok she's from the jersey shore.
jaidonsafira 0
I agree. And plus, it's f***ing JERSEY man.
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
that's jersey for ya. oh, sorry, joisey. forgot the accent
BonJovi821 3
No. The only people who say "joisey" are Jersey-wannabes. I'm from Jersey and if you were to say "joisey" you'd get hit in the face.
TeeHee124 0
u get offended too easily, baby.
sarcasticbitch 7
you should be like shut up bitch and I hope ur flying back to kitchen! that would shut her up.
Nutz321 0
I watched a documentary about this on BBC, Britain is the worst in Europe due to less holidays, more minimum working hours, etc. Don't know about the USA.
ohJeeznotme 7
Actually, the ignorant, judemental people with no common sense are from NY.
pooponyuou 0
114 not really we're just too sensitive
berrenduh 0
I agree with 114
taycandy96 2
114 texans aren't nice (and I'm saying this bcuz I've been a Texan all my life)
lthomps 0
you shouldn't have bumped into a jersey shore cast member then
Freeze_fml 17
I'm an example of how nice Texans are.
jweezy89 4
Welcome to jersey, biznitch!
Sleeparoo 0
It's a jersey thing.
iwenttherebuddy 0
come to New York !!! ? everyone's in a rush no one cares for manners !!!
CeruleanThree 8
114- I wouldn't say America is more polite then the rest of the world, but there are worse countries.
JokeMeister 0
The correct response was"**** You!!"
Chrisskiies 0
no no no. it's "**** you too, bitch." then you walk away.
purple_zebras_ 0
maybe she was just having one of those days where everything Iis going wrong
notimaginary 7
I'm pretty sure the correct response is a punch to the FACE!
mshoes12346 3
no, not evry1 in nj are rude bitches.. i live in nj and the people are very friendly where i am
krazygirl100 9
what do you expect its jersey have you ever watched that episode of south park lol
TengoCojones 0
how uncivilized -_-
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
dude. it's. new. jersey. new. jersey. NEW. JERRRSSSSSEEEEEYYYYY. that's what happens in NEEEEEEWWWW JEEEERRRRRSSSSEEEEYYYY
quiXotic11 3
How is this even an FML? It's not like your life is over because some woman didn't accept your apology...
Vociferouslife 4
I think South Park did it best. "**** You New Jersey!"
skibutter 1
well we are talking about new jersey here..
xStiina 0
what an asshole lady.
AninOnin 24
Yup, that's Jersey!
DreadGravity 10
Yeah, was just about to say. 90% of people in Jersey don’t say a sentence without cursing and most of the time it’s as a compliment lol
redbluegreen 41
Unless it was really phrased, "************! Watch your ******* step, ******* asshole," that is polite, especially for an airport in New Jersey.
hmna 0
^ This. It's even more true if the woman was an NJ native.
captainbj2 0
so true!
NotASquirrel 19
What does everyone have against New Jersey?
Freeze_fml 17
Welcome to New Jersey.
joosuskills 0
**** jersey
Lowa_fml 3
don't you live in Texas?
ciaogirl 0
not everywhere in jersey is like this everyone hahaha I'm from jersey people from parts are crazy mother ******* the rest are just chill hahaha(:
FYLDeep 26
Hopefully you then got on an airplane and got the **** out of New Jersey.
fatalkiss 0
say, oh did I say excuse me? I meant GET THE **** OUTTA MY WAY FATASS BITCH
jmaahs2 0
u r def sexy. and i'm from NJ and not everyone there is rude like that
fatalkiss 0
thank you :) & that's good to know
MC_Telepathy 0
well im in the bronx head my way ;)
ohthebloodygore 16
Anyone who talks to you is. :]
Jessi2487 0
duh op! new jersey is the rudest state on the east(also the best)lol ydi for being polite in new jersey.
nond2nv 4
Not at all. New Jersey sucks.
Jessi2487 0
whaa??? nooo!! ur jus mad cuz ur from somewhere like nebraska or vermont, places no one talks about. STATE HATER! :p
elfuin 0
I'm sorry but any respect for new jersey I might of had, was killed by jersey shore...
iwenttherebuddy 0
hell no ? New York is the best ? but new jerseys not bad
trivel64 16
Umm, it's all stereotypes. I'm from Jersey, no one ever acts like the shit you see on there.
sammieb 5
148 New Jersey does not suck at all it's my home town I live it there but it all depends on where you are and who you meet
peithecelt 28
Not the rudest, we just don't pretend to like you. If someone in jersey asks how you are doing, it is because they give a shit and actually want to know. I'll take the curse laden honestly over false kindness any day.