Today, so you know how in the movies there’s a dad who discovers he’s not actually the dad because they had to get a DNA test, and it’s funny because it’s all just a movie. Real life isn’t that funny. My twin boys had to go to hospital for blood tests and so on, and it turns out they’re not mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my sister and I decided to do one of those online DNA tests just for fun. Our mom came in, saw all the stuff on the table, and lost her mind. She started bawling and apologizing. Apparently, neither one or neither of us actually belong to my dad. FML
Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML
Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, my husband presented me with a DNA test proving that our newborn daughter isn't his. Confused, I got her tested again. She's not a match to me either. FML
Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
That is tough. Sending hugs your way. Do you still want to maintain a relationship with them?
FluffythePink 24
🫂 You have to decide if just DNA makes them yours or the fact that you love them.
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Comments (5)
GoogieWithers 25
That is tough. Sending hugs your way. Do you still want to maintain a relationship with them?
poopface82 25
Do a sanity check before jumping to conclusions. There is always the possibility they were switched at the hospital. Y’know, since we’re on things that happen in popular culture.
DLBL 23
That would be a specific blood test. Who requested it?
Vesi 30
Not necessarily.. "In cases of questioned paternity, ABO blood-typing can be used to exclude a man from being a child's father. For example, a man who has type AB blood could not father a child with type O blood, because he would pass on either the A or the B allele to all of his offspring. Despite their usefulness in this regard, ABO blood groups cannot be used to confirm whether a man is indeed a child's father." Blood typing alone *can* rule out paternity.
DLBL 23
Routine blood tests don't check for ABO blood types. I am an RN in a hospital and if a patient needs a blood transfusion, I draw it then and there and send it down for type and crossmatch. Routine blood tests are CBC, BMP, maybe PT/INR if indicated. Hence, someone specifically must have asked for a paternity test.
FluffythePink 24
🫂 You have to decide if just DNA makes them yours or the fact that you love them.
Lost Reggie 22
Maury!