Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "So, how about some break up lovin'?" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I didn't realize there was an age limit on when you could use the "it's not you, it's me" speech. "Because my mom doesn't like you" shouldn't be used past age 18, but "it's not you, it's me" is timeless.
DjeePee 25
I would rather hear that it isn't me than that it is completely my fault.
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Comments (70)
bms1996 12
key his car and slash the tires.
muzakfever 0
Sometimes people mean that speech!
lolmigosh 15
Haha your like J.Lo
theamazingone_12 7
im 15 and i dont even do that!! what a di**
Carlie_McCartney 1
I don't see why age is relevant. George INVENTED the "It's not you, it's me" speech on Seinfeld, and I'd say he's past 37... Regardless, that was an asswipe move and I'm sorry you had to sit in traffic only to get dumped :(
unicornpower56 7
37 years old and your not married yet? Dafuq
sororitytaylor 24
Pull out the Victoria's Secret bag and wave it nonchalantly while you say, "Well, I guess I don't have any use for this anymore," and walk out.
zethreal 4
While I'm only 30, I have just recently given the "It's not you, it's me" speech. Truth be told, that sometimes *is* the truth. Sitting in traffic just to get dumped sucks though.
SnowySouls 3
Don't be a lil bitch about it.