Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "So, how about some break up lovin'?" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I didn't realize there was an age limit on when you could use the "it's not you, it's me" speech. "Because my mom doesn't like you" shouldn't be used past age 18, but "it's not you, it's me" is timeless.
DjeePee 25
I would rather hear that it isn't me than that it is completely my fault.
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Comments (70)
momo1972 3
awe poor baby....whatever
Ninjafriends 1
There's traffic in Kentucky?
someone234 5
She's 37 and still isn't married?
TomasT 0
Yes, she is probably intelligent..
Calyx_fml 22
Its not you... Its someone else.
vbmg152 19
I'm now playing the world's smallest violin for you! (J. K.)
urdirtyolduncle 15
u got three negatives. Guess three fat chicks saw this one.
lindsaymiedema 4
I don't really think anyone would want to see a 37 year ok'd in "something special" from Victoria secret
lindsaymiedema 4
oops. old**
Aniblecoby 0
So? Maybe he just fell out of love with you... That would make it's not you it's me true... Would you rather get the "I'm awesome you suck" speech?
Evan2297 0
Wait, "me" like op? Or "me" like the person talking?
anon_e_m00se 8
How about you put on whatever it is you got from Victoria's Secret, and come over to my place. A little rebound sex will help you feel much better :-)
nobbydeltrott 1
'Its not you, its me...' that can actually be genuine... although I didn't phrase it in such a way, a couple of nights ago I wondered whether my relationship was strong enough for what the future would hold. We had a big chat about it and both feel a lot better now. On a separate note, what you bought from Victoria's secret is always good - either you'll have a chance to show it off to the old partner, or a new and improved model. Best of luck to you.
Jazze_fml 10
thank you. i hate it when people simply asume that "it's not you, it's me" is ALLWAYS just a bbad excuse just because TV made it that way. some times a person simply isn't able to deal with a relationship without it haveing to do with the partner and thus it's themself and not the partner