Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
idkweird 0
Why the hell would the person at the pharmacy counter care whether or not you're having sex? Pathetic.
succubusprime 0
YDI for wasting $50 on someone who will forget about you seconds after leaving the store.
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Comments (146)
creepermagnet 0
Isn't that stuff expensive? Wouldn't you have been better off buying a box of condoms if you wanted to impress the cashier?
jellybean120 10
exactly!
Thunderstruck14 30
Condoms would be a better option but both are still stupid. You can't really impress a cashier by buying certain things. Impress someone with your personality and actions, not pretending you had sex with someone. Having sex is something almost everyone does at some point so I don't see how that's supposed to impress someone. Besides, its presenting a false image of yourself. Doing so does not lead to good relationships. Its all just really silly.
snowking_fml 0
r u fat, ugly and lonely or something
Grnfrogs8 0
wow. like the cashier is worried and fretting about your sex life. yeah, you're paranoid. YDI for thinking to much.
Starfire22 5
ura really, idk why she would think the cashier cares..
mrguy266 0
Well..it isn't like the people working there are wanting to know about your sex life. just find the right guy and live out your life, don't worry what people think. I used to do that, but now that I found a girl, I don't care what people think..so just be patient.
darkmis1 18
You should've just gotten condems. That way people would think you were having responsible sex.
boopityboppity 11
Exactly. If anything, the clerk's opinion of the OP was lowered due to her perceived unresponsibility.
ApplePieHead 0
Have sex with the clerk :D problem solved.
Joey7361 0
he wouldn't have sex with her,you see the problem yet?
Person1233 13
Burn in hell OP.
lettertjes 0
I think people don't sleep with you because you are a weirdo who cares about what the cashier thinks about your sex life.
mezsed 0
You could have paid for a male hooker since you seem desperate.
Thisbe_fml 0
You're so insecure that you need to waste money on drugs that you have no use for just to impress some random cashier? I wonder why nobody wants to sleep with you. YDI YDI YDI YDI.