Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my husband and I waited until the TV shut off at 11 p.m. in the next room to signal his grandmother had retired to her bed upstairs. After doing it on a very squeaky bed, we went out naked half an hour later to go to the restroom across the hall, only to discover his Nana laying on the couch. FML
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
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Top comments
cndrow 0
I am a woman, and I agree- women need to communicate (just as much as men). If she didn't want the massage (who in their right mind wouldn't want a massage from their man is beyond my comprehension but whatever..) she should've said 'thanks honey but I'd like to watch this before you do that' or something to that effect. Geez. Ungrateful b*tch.
0___0 9
Why is she watching T.V. when she has a loving husband for entertainment? ;)
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Comments (43)
taytoc 10
so she yells at u after u give her a nice massage? what a bitch
drewski50 6
what a bitch.. Divorce time :D
BeanieBGone 6
Dad?
angi71 4
I don't know why we have to leave you guys alone when you're doing something but you're always up in our face when we're busy!
shunshunrikka89 0
She's a disgrace to all women. I'd die with happiness if my husband did that for me.
jm42345 5
oh helll no. thats when u whip out your johnson an give her a mushroom stamp. if u dnt know what that is refer to urbandictionary
jesinuevo 3
Come over here and massage my back instead!!! I would love it!!! There's nothing sexier than watching my favorite soap while getting a rub down! Then when it's done we'll rub down, if you know what I mean? *raises eyebrows*
shawnwahs 7
I so feel that pain.
TrashyPineapple 1
That is shitty. I have to beg my husband for a freaking 2 minute massage.
boredgirl123 11
Look, my ex used to do that to me all the time, sometimes I didn't care, but it was mostly annoying, if I wanted a back rub, I'll ask. Quit with your shit.