Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I bet you look hot.
alex6946 10
why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.
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Comments (198)
sweetonsno 1
Oil is also good for removing makeup. For the polish, grab some remover pads en route. Don't sleep so soundly, or have the wife/girlfriend keep an eye on kiddo. She probably has remover hanging around if she has waterproof makeup.
klong91 7
use some nail polish remover and hot soap and water.
Theguy614 0
tell the interviewer you're gay if you don't get the job than sue them
Theguy614 0
I didn't change and I don't know who did you f*ggot c*nt
inevality 12
If you don't mind my asking, what did he originally say?
CanadianChickie 9
She just wanted to make you pretty! jeez.
allmidnighteyes 11
lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+remove+makeup
SamanthaRose143 6
Well hey, I mean its the thought that counts(:
franniedottp 8
wow.
meganmagee 11
Some baby oil, and some cotton balls. Scrub scrub scrub.
anakaren_831 1
awwww, maybe she thought it was a job interview to a modeling job:)
zman1422 3
Then why are you wasting time posting this?