Today, I attended a white elephant party at work and the box I picked had whisky and beer. Since I am a Muslim, I took it to my Christian friend's house and gave it to him. As I was walking there, I passed my imam on the street. Awkward. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML
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Top comments
LikesRedLollis 19
Well, I mean, if they ask you, you could always explain. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
whatshuman43 8
Well the point of a white elephant gift is to be useless and hard to get rid of, so whoever bought that had much more success than they intended
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Comments (17)
Isa_fml 20
I'm sure if you explain they'll understand. :)
gahro_nahvah 10
Well your Christian friend would just have to find a way to get rid of it also. The generally accepted "limit" of alcohol is the point at which there's intoxication that's noticeable, as being drunk is listed as something wrong.
IHaveThePower 18
Most Christians 'get rid of' alcohol by savoring it over a few years, though. For the majority of Muslims, alcohol (and pork and a bunch of other stuff) is on the Do Not Eat At All list--some of it based on Ye Olde Timey Health And Safety Regulationes stuff, some of it based on Goddamnit Steve If You Get Drunk One More Time stuff. (Anthropologically speaking, that is--a lot of these rules have different cultural versus religious bases. The cultural reasons are often very much rooted in either disease prevention, or That One Guy.)
Wormgod 10
Crap dude. Make sure to explain!
r1has 28
Cept ya can't re gift or sell alcohol as a Muslim. I can understand you not knowing that, because it isn't a very talked about Hadith, since most people, scholars included, tend to stop the alcohol discussion at don't drink it. I only know this because I read the entire Saheeh Bukhari once. Since I'm presuming you didn't know this before, your past actions don't matter, but just for future reference, if you get alcohol as a gift, you're supposed to throw it away
MrrMan 15
That is correct ????
emokitty91 12
sounds like a waste but for that matter if they're not supposed to be in possession of it from what I remember can't you swap or exchange the gifts in a white elephant? i feel like this person could have done that..
r1has 28
Idk, I don't even know wtf a white elephant is, lol
kfchicken 31
well hadith's aren't set in stone rules and they're debated lots.
FRANTICPANTMAN 21
If drinking is against your religion, why would you not put it in a bag or cover it up?
JigglesGirl 19
Imam?
Orion 9
i don't know what an Imam is...