Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting the girl I am in love with. I was dropping hints about liking someone who I didn't know if they liked me back. Flirting a little. And just when I thought she'd say she liked me too, she said "Don't worry, if you were straight, I would definitely date you!". FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML
Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML
Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouted, "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
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Top comments
noobsatin 19
now you know don't hint, be straight forward.
FKJVMMP 17
If there is one thing FML has taught me over the years, it's that any sentence involving any variation of the words "subtle" and "hint" will end terribly and possibly sickeningly.
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Comments (113)
foxwasalamb 24
was this by any chance in Alabama?
JuzReading 23
Nah, Colorado.
the_real_dvd 21
This question is incredible ignorant. Google "where is it legal to marry your cousin?" You'll find many states allow it, and they're predominantly "progressive" and northern states.
baxeh 29
Who says it's in a state where it's legal? Maybe OPs crush is a rebel
SPARTAN11810 9
Foolish rebels
RedPillSucks 33
Not sure why #19 is being downvoted. The statement is absolutely correct.
gingaa96 18
12, you are such an asshat. I'm not from Alabama but how would you like if people constantly made fun of you because of where you live? I'm sick and tired of assholes like you
meatyowllegs 11
#68 because #12 was asking a rhetorical question, as a joke. No need for the passive aggressive rant given by #19
the_real_dvd 21
#82, my statement was hardly passive aggressive. It was pretty ******* direct, and hardly a rant. Let me put this into perspective, instead of pigeon holing southerners, insert a race into her statement. Now how bigoted and narrow minded is it?
HeyTherexxx 21
I agree with you about their ignorance, but this is the internet... You can't take things so seriously. Alabama incest jokes will go on for a long time; you just have to deal with them.
paigexox0 37
Dodged a bullet there. A creepy cousin liking bullet.
strawberrywine22 30
Either she is an absolute nut case, or she knows you are into her and REALLY isn't into you, so she is trying to make you run in the opposite direction. I'd suggest running either way. Better safe than sorry.
fleuretta 19
I feel dating cousins and relatives is on the rise. And it's actually pretty common in many cultures! I don't know how to feel about it so I'm pretty neutral.
littlekellilee 45
True, though there's no reason for it. Every year we have more and more people on earth, giving wider and wider pills to choose a mate from. It's Not like we're running it of people, so you have no one left but your cousin.
aussilynn3312 10
But you feel neutral. So you do have a feeling about it.
glabberfasted 16
Or maybe she knew what you were doing, didn't like it, and decided to mess with you? Sounds likely, most girls like it when guys are just straight forward.
Axel5238 29
Agreed, some subtlety isn't bad though really depends what the OP thinks a subtle hint is. Some people hints are do really clue the person in and they get sad when it isn't noticed. They if she doesn't see anything wrong with dating her cousin OP you dogged a bullet.
Saruh159 13
Incest in the morning! 97.1
Alchemist_21 26
Guess it's time to play Reverse Cyrano.
PassiveAggresive 12
What in the hell?
hurryHM 10
take a u-turn
De_Bri 16
This is one way of how to lose a guy in ten minutes.
russfml 31
Or 2 seconds lol