Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML
Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
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Top comments
KhaleesiDannie 26
He was just covering for not being able to understand it either
Davids9199 14
Just look up the answers no I'm not saying cheat but if you need help googles your bestfriend
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Comments (43)
amileah13 26
And my brain is going wtf? Does he magically think eating food will help solve your questions?
aacuna8 11
Ayy I'm from Jersey too
proudsock 17
Ayy no one cares.
littlekellilee 45
are you offering to help OP? That's nice of you
techiejames 8
Your Dad didn't know the answer. Back in high school, I too got to a point my parents couldn't help me. Try to get to school early and find your math teacher before classes start.
xswitch74 17
Free food is always a plus ...
lexred 30
He must have been very busy to leave so fast. Was ur mum home then?
withered 30
In such situations google is your friend :P Or ask a schoolmate/friend if you prefer someone explains to you in person.
alvarny 17
if that's the best help he can give you, you know from who you inherited your brains from
Moonpup 5
Sounds like you better start eating
Sammy_rawrr 13
Still kinda thoughtful!
smirnoff1589 9
How was this approved? This one sucks and you suck