Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Did she yell at you for not shoving the prawn fried rice up your ass? It's not fair to expect you to obey your drunk dad literally.
tounces7 28
Of course she yelled at you, because your dad is most likely an abusive asshole who she is afraid of.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Did she yell at you for not shoving the prawn fried rice up your ass? It's not fair to expect you to obey your drunk dad literally.
SJKatt 15
There's so much relevant information missing from this post but one thing is certain; Your life does suck. I'm sorry.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Is this an episode of the Kardashians' show?
tounces7 28
Of course she yelled at you, because your dad is most likely an abusive asshole who she is afraid of.
dasin 18
you threw something away and your suprised the person doing taxes yelled at you
Jonkbaby 23
I'm very sorry, op. Look in Al-Anon, it's for family members of alcoholics