Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
That was a really dick move. On both of your parts.
zahra_786 19
Yeah, you should feel terrible. F your fiancé's life. She deserves better. Also, being drunk isn't an excuse.
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Comments (172)
AirBusDriver 23
Not cool. YDI
wolfgirl1331 4
You are a piece of shit and your fiancé deserves much better than your sorry ass tell her the truth so she can go be with someone who actually loves her. If you cared at all you wouldn't have slept with a ****. Nothing worse than a cheater but your posting and FML oh poor you! You accidentally put your dick in another woman while your girl no doubt waited for you at home! F her life hope she finds some one amazing and you die a lonely old man
wolfgirl1331 4
[email protected]
JonBall 17
You're ******* scum OP, the number one reason people don't believe in marriage anymore.
caleb_ohs 8
It kinda is true because in most divorces the woman gets a lot of money from the man like his 401k or social security. Usually if the woman divorces the husband and gets mad then she will run up credit card debt and the man has to pay for it. I've seen it happen many times in my family and to others.
DenBriZel 31
Wow... That's horrible parental advice.
crandel 11
He's right, you know. She will get half your stuff, and divorce is basically inevitable at this stage. Break it off now, best for both of you.
EffyFails 18
YDI so hard OP no excuse tell her she'll find out in the end and then she will divorce you, hope she does take half your shit fu
noralutter 10
wow YDI. I hate when people use being drunk as an excuse. Tell your fiancée and then work to regain her trust. If things have any chance of working out then work to become the man she deserves and not a boy who would cheat on his girl.
melissy315 1
Seems like the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.