Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at Halloween costumes online for this year's Halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML